Back in 2011 the URA released an April Fool’s edition of their e-newsletter featuring this:
Today the City of Pittsburgh in conjunction with the URA, Allegheny County and the Port Authority announced plans to construct a zip line that will run from the Duquesne Incline in Mt. Washington to the North Shore.
To which I responded:
ZIP LINE. ZIP. LINE.
Best idea ever. Get on that, someone of import.
The half-mile proposed zip line would cross the Ohio River at 50 mph and with a 400 foot vertical drop. Young will use the grant funds to bring a national zip line company to Pittsburgh to conduct a feasability study.
Young says the project has verbal arrangements with property owners at the proposed take-off and landing sites. A landing platform would be constructed at the North Shore location with enough height to prevent interference with river traffic.
Are you kidding me? Zipping over the Ohio River from Mt. Washington and landing on the North Shore at speeds approaching Turnpike-mph?
If you don’t wear a Batman cape the first time you do it, I don’t even know who you are anymore.
A Spiderman suit will also be acceptable.
[swishes cape and runs off in dramatic fashion]
[runs back in dramatic fashion]
Also … suck it, Portland.
[swishes cape and runs off again in dramatic fashion]