What’ll it take?

What’s it going to take to get you to donate to this year’s Make Room for Kids effort to bring distractions and gaming to the patients and families at The Children’s Home and Lemieux Family Center? 

Do you need to see a cat that will haunt your nightmares until the day you die?

We got that!

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Do you need to see a baby monkey riding backwards on a little pig?

We got that!

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Shirtless Fleury?

Got it!

Mayor Straight G. Lukey Cube with a giant light bulb?

Got it!

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My minister father wearing a construction hat and doing the YMCA dance at my sister’s wedding? GOT THAT.

BONKERS!

He really partied hard every time he managed to marry one of us five girls off to unsuspecting men who were in for a lifetime of whatever it is my sisters and I dish out on a daily basis.

Me as a teenaged cheerleader for the local church group?

GOT IT!

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Let me explain what’s going on here. Insanity is going on here.

This is a very dangerous, utterly precarious, bold church cheerleading pyramid that could falter and tumble to the ground at any moment, injuring all of us and possibly displacing our carefully Aqua-netted mall bangs. I can’t believe that we’re not breaking any rules on what is allowable at sanctioned church cheerleading events. I mean, WHERE ARE THE SPOTTERS?! I am in there, straining under half of the enormous burden of the 65-pound Pens Fan. My glasses are askew. My hair drooping. My sparkle spirit flagging. This pyramid’s difficulty … its complexity … is only rivaled by this one’s:

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As you can see, this pyramid is in such danger of falling at any moment that two strategically-placed cheerleaders must prop it up like two-by-fours holding up a rickety porch in the backwoods of West By God Virginia.

Without those feet holding my butt up, I would surely drop the third of Princess Aurora’s 65 pounds I’m holding up.

I still remember some of the cheers we cheered.

“S-P-I-R-I-T! What’s that spell?! SPIRIT!” And not the Holy Spirit. Just spirit. We wanted our team to have SPIRIT. Gasp! Or maybe we WERE cheering about the Holy Spirit and they weren’t telling us. Sneaky. I hope the Holy Spirit appreciated our cheering.

“Be! Aggressive! B-E agressive! B-E-A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E!” which was our most violent church spelling cheer.

Surprisingly, we didn’t have one single cheer that went like this … “GoooooOOOOOOO, JESUS!”

What’s it going to take to get you to click the donate button? Tell me and I’ll do it. We’re almost halfway there in 24 hours, and if we all do our part, donate a bit, spread the word, we’ll reach our goal faster than you can spell dork.

“D-O-R-K! What’s that spell?! DORK! Who’s a dork?! GINNY! When’s she a dork?! ALWAYS!”





11 Comments

  1. Amy
    February 13, 2013 10:08 am

    I swear that looks like my friend Debbie holding the other half of Princess Aurora! If you remember her name, and it is Debbie, please let me know… I’ll have to forward this post to her and let her bask in the glow of being featured on That’s Church!



    • Amy
      February 13, 2013 8:27 pm

      That is my friend Debbie!! Too funny – I can’t believe you guys went to church and cheered together!!



  2. red pen mama
    February 13, 2013 10:34 am

    Dear lord, I could stare at that Fleury picture all day long. *fans self*

    I get paid tomorrow.



  3. PittinDC
    February 13, 2013 10:59 am

    As a former Catholic school cheerleader, I have similar pictures. I feel your pain.

    Happy to have donated!!!



  4. Noelle
    February 13, 2013 11:40 am

    Got any photos of you in a particularly embarrassing Halloween costume? That might be fun.



  5. Fran
    February 13, 2013 1:28 pm

    I never knew a church had cheerleaders. Is this common? Oh wait, was it a church based school?

    In any event, I gave. I don’t stop by here much anymore but I do hope for some old school, spot on, educated snark closer to the mayoral election.



  6. Burghermeister
    February 13, 2013 2:02 pm

    Oh, I just took that total over 4G, yes I did!

    The Children’s Home of Pittsburgh is an extremely under-recognized asset to our region. What a combination of services, and all administered by a caring staff. I should know- my daughter spent too much of her all-too-short one year of life there, but the work of everyone affiliated with the Children’s home left an impression that will last a lifetime.

    FYI- the annual “Shake Your Booties” fundraiser in the spring is ALWAYS a good party.

    Thank you, Ginny, for taking on this cause.



  7. Pa-pop
    February 13, 2013 2:49 pm

    Yeah, that last one pushed me over the edge. Lends new meaning to the architectural term “flying buttresses.”



  8. Lauren
    February 13, 2013 3:21 pm

    Run the Great Race in September. It’s an “easy” 10k. You know you want to :)