Hey Girl, great ball of fire.


Ramsey ditch fire blamed on pigeon fireball   Latest News   Hunts Post

 

I … I just … I don’t even know where to begin.

OVERHEAD cables touched under the weight of perched pigeons causing an explosion which sent them hurtling to their death in a giant fireball and set fire to the ditch below.

Do I start with the fact that I found that sentence more arousing than anything Ryan Gosling ever Hey Girl-ed to me?

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(source)

Mr Laverick, of Benwick Road, Ramsey Forty Foot, said: “Sparks went everywhere, some pigeons were incinerated, others dropped into the ditch and the fire raged.”

Do I start with the fact that this is an efficient new way to kill pigeons that I never considered until now? Baiting the higher of two live wires (carefully) with week-old vomited french fries and letting electricity do the job of killing many birds with one glorious kablooey?

Do I start with the fact that, as the reader who tweeted me the link (can’t find his name) said, Pigeon Fireball is a FANTASTIC band name? They could totally open for the Suspicious Packages.

The top wire was sinking lower and lower because of the weight of the pigeons but still more came, until unlucky pigeon 615 landed, the wires touched and there was a massive explosion.

Do I start with the fact that this story easily allows us to replace the tired “straw that broke the camel’s back” idiom with “the obese pigeon that made two live wires touch?” In case you were wondering, they counted, and the answer is 614 … 614 is how many pigeons can safely rest on a wire. 615 pigeons is when the bough breaks and the cradle falls in a ball of pigeon flambe.

Do I start with the fact that Pigeon Flambe is also a pretty decent band name? They could open for Violent Rhino Sex (tm Pittsburgh Zoo).

I don’t know where to start.

So I’ll just end with this:

kinopoisk.ru

 

Yes.





8 Comments

  1. AngryMongo
    March 12, 2013 11:29 am

    I’d start with the fact that the sentence is too painful to read without proper punctuation.

    Unless it is grammatically correct, and therefore, it’s just painful to read as one sentence.



  2. jennviolet
    March 12, 2013 11:49 am

    Demented pigeon humor and Ryan Gosling in one post. I will never quit you, Ginny. Thank you for making me laugh out loud!



  3. red pen mama
    March 12, 2013 12:09 pm

    Awesome stuff. I needed the laugh. Thanks for blogging today, and including Mr. Gosling.



  4. Lisa P
    March 12, 2013 1:08 pm

    Love! here pigeon here little fireball.



  5. Mike
    March 12, 2013 5:55 pm

    That was me sending you the tweet with the link and the band name idea! Combine that with the Hawks poster I made for you, can I be an official “avian corespondent”?



  6. bucdaddy
    March 13, 2013 11:06 am

    It’s a great day to be you.



  7. Butcher's Dog
    March 13, 2013 4:24 pm

    Sounds like your version of what Ben Franklin is reputed to have said about beer: Proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.



    • bucdaddy
      March 14, 2013 10:31 am

      One of the beer newspapers I used to read pretty much debunked that.

      Sadly.*

      *–I mean that Frankin said it, not what he didn’t say.