End of the Ravenstahl Era

I was going to write this post for my blog at Pittsburgh Magazine, but I feel like at some point I’m going to want to be all “choke a bitch” or “shit a brick” or “[BEWBS]” or something, so I’ll just leave this here instead.

With a slightly lower voter turnout than in 2009 when 45,416 votes were cast in the Democratic Primary, last night Bill Peduto won his party’s nomination and if history is any indicator — and right now History is all, “Bitch, have you met me? I am the BIGGEST indicator.” — then Bill Peduto is the next mayor of Pittsburgh.

Lukey’s arch-nemesis.  The man against which Lukey spent God-knows-how-many dollars to destroy.

Right now Lukey is sitting next to the brick he shit last night and is writing some super depressing rap rhymes that contain rhyming pairs like “dude/rude” and “haters/gators” and “mud/crud.” Lukey is TERRIBLE at writing raps.

Wagner was Lukey’s Chosen One.

You know this because he bankrolled anti-Peduto ads and left some super fierce [snap snap] Facebook comments about “haters” and “He said duty. Heh.” I might be misremembering that second one. [shrug]

And you can be sure this is how he looked as he watched the results last night:

hopeful

wut

freakout

shit

mad

Wagner picked up Lukey’s supporters and that included the police and firefighters unions and I don’t need to tell you this, but they aren’t happy with the results.

Alluding to Mr. Peduto’s support for the state supervision that curbs the bargaining leverage of city unions, Mike LaPorte, the president of the Fraternal Order of Police said the new nominee “treats the city workers like garbage.”

“I’m thinking about retiring,” he added.

Let me translate:

ballhome

(source)

Super mature.

[golf clap]

Regardless, this is the first day of the beginning of the end of the Ravenstahl era. I once had really high hopes for Luke, and now I’ll transfer those high hopes to Bill Peduto, just as I would have done if Jack Wagner had won.

You can be against Peduto, but you can’t be against Pittsburgh; so let’s hope for the best and see where this new road leads us.

Hopefully we won’t find ourselves suffering with typhoid and cholera, fording a rapidly rising Mon while riding a three-wheeled wagon being pulled by dysentery-riddled oxen.

Amen.





6 Comments

  1. AngryMongo
    May 22, 2013 10:24 am

    I’m just going to leave this here for now…

    A few years back I attended the Grand Prix and was a guest at the Lamar tent. Guess who was there? Remember that big thing about the sign? Funny that I saw him there, shaking hands and laughing in a tent, sponsored by a company that sued him.



  2. Magnus Patris
    May 22, 2013 10:44 am

    Let the Peduto reign of terror begin!



  3. bucdaddy
    May 22, 2013 1:50 pm

    I can’t feel sorry for a guy who can spend the next 50 years making thousands of dollars a pop as a professional glad-hander.

    Oh, and as always, you get the government you deserve.



  4. eileen
    May 22, 2013 2:58 pm

    Re: Mike LaPorte comments.
    Don’t let the door hit you in the ass!



  5. Toni
    May 22, 2013 4:56 pm

    You forgot Darren Kelly’s (political action directior for the fireman’s union) response:

    “Whoever’s mayor, we’ll work with them,” he said. “We can only hope that the newly elected mayor has as his top priority the best interests and safety of the citizens of Pittsburgh.”

    Is that a thinly veiled threat I’m reading? Something along the lines of give us a sweetheart deal or we’ll strike and your homes will burn???

    If so, I hope he retires with the FOP.

    I like Jack Wagner but I’m excited to have Peduto as the winner of the contest. Either candidate was a vast improvement over the juvenile excuse we currently have for a Mayor.



  6. Emilie
    May 23, 2013 11:48 am

    I too had high hopes for Lukey when he was elected. I thought – OH! He’s young, he’s idealistic, He’s going to bring a good vibe to the city….

    Then I realized that he’s like every other fraternity boy who has yet to grow up – in short, he became a douchebag. I’m glad he didn’t run for re-election and I’m hopeful that Peduto will make decisions that are right for the City of Pittsburgh and not for his bank account.

    xo




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