Our next mayor? No.

jewishprepper

Pittsburgh’s Republican mayoral candidate (yes, that’s a real thing) Josh Wander seems to be in the news for one thing and one thing only lately, complaining that people are acting like Bill Peduto is the next mayor despite the fact that there’s still the general election to take place in November.

Now, Josh Wander won the Republican nomination because he ran unopposed and I feel pretty comfortable thanks to this second marjarita, which is how drunj people spell marjarita, in saying that if Josh Wander wins the mayoral election in November, I will get a face tattoo that says “I love pigeons” and then I’ll get another that says, “I love Luke Ravenstahl.”

Perhaps if Mr. Wander spent more time telling us what he stands for other than “going to work every day” and “giving a voice back to the people” we might take him seriously, as we did Mark Desantis a few years back. (You guys, I really thought Desantis had a chance and I wasn’t high or anything.)

In addition to being Republican, Josh Wander is also a prepper. Not as in restaurant kitchen. But as in zombies. He has prepared his family with great thoroughness for countless doomsday scenarios and he also chose to appear, with his wife and children, in National Geographic’s show “Doomsday Preppers.”

Wander says that show made him out to be nutty when he’s a regular guy who just wants to protect his wife and six children.

“Most of the people who appeared on that show, including myself, do not believe in a Doomsday,” Wander says. “That’s not why we’re prepared. We believe that it’s important to prepare. Emergency preparedness is something I believe very strongly in.”

Thoughts!

1. If you don’t believe in a Doomsday, then maybe you shouldn’t choose to appear on a show called … wait for it … DOOMSDAY PREPPERS.

2. Complaining that a reality show called DOOMSDAY PREPPERS made you seem “nutty” is like whining that your appearance on a reality show called “Hot Strangers Stranded Naked on an Island with a Bucket of Condoms” made you seem “slutty.”

3. I don’t know that you should run for GOVERNMENT office when you’ve posted a video in which you state your belief that the GOVERNMENT is deliberately trying to bait “second-amendment lovers” into a catastrophic, gun-related act of violence.

4. I believe in emergency preparedness. But this is just nuts:

YouTube Preview Image

I’m sorry. I like to give people a chance, but you can’t put videos like that on YouTube and then demand we take you seriously as a mayoral candidate of anything other than Woodbury, Georgia.  AND I AM SAYING THIS AS A REPUBLICAN (I’m a VERY moderate Republican, so you don’t have to email me any of your anger. Promise.) We don’t HAVE to take you seriously. We don’t HAVE to give you a chance. We don’t HAVE to listen to you. You have to earn those things from the public.

5.  I have a lot of questions. Like, did he grow his beard out just for that interview video? What can possibly be worse than a zombie apocalypse? And most importantly, what the actual hell are Doomsday Beans?!

6. Second Amendment Lover and the Doomsday Beans?

EXCELLENT BAND NAME.

(h/t @earthsandwich on Twitter)





16 Comments

  1. rose
    June 24, 2013 8:30 pm

    bat.shit.crazy.



  2. Shona
    June 24, 2013 11:43 pm

    Great piece. I would like to point out one small thing though. Mr. Wander may have a beard because he made the video during the sefirah period – the time between the end of Passover (3/25/13) and Lag B’Omer (4/27/13). During this period, some observant Jews (Mr. Wander is an Orthodox Jew) do not shave.

    I do not necessarily disagree with what you’re saying (heck, I’m a Democrat). However people are multi-faceted and often have reasons for what they do. Sometimes those reasons aren’t so apparent.



    • Clayton
      June 25, 2013 8:25 am

      Sometimes the reasons are apparent because the reasons are shown on a nationally aired cable television show with the reasons right in the title of the show.



  3. Kristin
    June 25, 2013 6:12 am

    Shona, while I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment at the end of your comment (and it’s something we should all try to keep in mind), I’m not convinced the beard was for sefirah. He would have had to hold the video for a couple of months before posting it. Looking at his activity on YouTube and given that he has a fair number of subscribers with whom he interacts, I could be wrong, but I get the impression that he would post a video as quickly as possible.



  4. Sooska
    June 25, 2013 6:55 am

    What did these people do before the Internet? How did they find each other? How did they get their message out to millions of voters? Too bad Bob Lansberry died, he’d know, although technically I guess he wasn’t a prepper, just a “mind control activist.” Maybe we need more of that now. or not.



  5. Bram R
    June 25, 2013 5:08 pm

    Josh is a nice guy and a solid ‘Burgher. We’ve had numerous conversations and I’ve never once thought to myself, “Crazypants.” But I confess I don’t get him when he tries to relate through any kind of media (even very fair media, like letters to the editor).



  6. Magnus Patris
    June 25, 2013 7:22 pm

    If he’s who survives, I’ll gladly be among the 80-90% who don’t make it. On a related note, I’m starting a company called “Uncle Stash’s Prepper Pierogie and Doomsday Halushki”© for all the Eastern European Pittsburgh Preppers. “Doomsday Halushki”; not THAT’S a great band name.



  7. Joe
    June 26, 2013 8:43 am

    If history is a clue, Wander tried for City Council in the last election and lost to Corey O’Connor 78% to 21%. I don’t think we have much to worry about.



  8. bucdaddy
    June 26, 2013 10:46 am

    As you might expect from West Virginia, if you’re a rabid anti-yahooite, we have a white supremacist who occasionally runs for things here, such as school board. I’m both satisfied that he gets soundly thrashed every time and disturbed that he manages to pull a couple hundred votes.

    My all-time favorite, though, was the time the Socialists ran some candidates for Morgantown City Council on the platform “U.S. out of Nicaragua NOW!”



  9. Dr Kevlar
    June 26, 2013 8:57 pm

    Josh Wander may be the most brilliant Prepper ever! Think about it: What would enhance you and your family’s chances of survival than to be prepared AND be part of the elite who would get extra protection during the Initial Phase of Armaggedon? Exactly! Become the mayor of a large city! An entire public safety department at your disposal!

    Of course there is the rather disturbing thought that for those who avidly believe that a two-party system will provide the best candidates possible for elective offices, this person is the best the “other” party can do…



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  11. MattDC
    June 30, 2013 11:06 pm

    Thank God for your website. Otherwise, I would never find such high quality political entertainment. I was instantly intrigued by any local candidate like Josh Wander who sponsors a website called “Jewish Preppers.” I assumed it would provide many helpful tips on keeping kosher during a nuclear winter, or finding a reasonably-priced mohel in post-apocalyptic Squirrel Hill. Alas, it’s all the same doomsday freeze-dried food advertisements you can find on any End-of Days survivalist website in Montana or the Upper Peninsula.