1. The other night, while listening to my son read his book-report book aloud (if I don’t make him read it aloud, he’ll skip chunks of pages at a time on account of laziness), he got to a part where one kid calls another kid a jackass. The look of pure joy on his face as he, without getting yelled at, uttered the word jackass three times … well, that’s the true meaning of Christmas.
I’m kidding, Dad. I know what the true meaning of Christmas is.
PRESENTS! DIAMONDS! CASH DOLLAH BILLZ! [makes it rain on the strippers]
And my phone will be ringing in three, two–
2. The winner of the Yinzer Gift Guide giveaway was notified and has accepted the prize. Shop the guide here!
3. It drives me insane — PURPLE MINION INSANE — when people refer to the Roberto Clemente Bridge as the Sixth Street Bridge, so I wrote about it for Pittsburgh Magazine, hoping to convince these lazy butts to stop being such jerkfaces:
This is not Snoop Lion Doggy Dogg Hedgehog Owl changing his name every time he moves his bowels. This is not the year of our Lord changing its name every 365 days. This is an iconic bridge whose name was changed once more than a decade ago. At this point, if you’re still calling it the Sixth Street Bridge, you’re just stubbornly refusing to put forth the same effort you do when writing the correct year on a check in early January.
4. Barebones Productions has to be having a hell of a time advertising this play in the local media:
“Things are starting to look up for recovering alcoholic Jackie and his girlfriend Veronica…until Jackie spots another man’s hat in their apartment and embarks on a sublimely incompetent quest for vengeance.”
I’m a big Patrick Jordan fan.
Can’t wait to see it. Tickets here.
I kinda love ’em. Gonna do a giveaway of them soon.
(Not a paid ad.)
6. Interactive map of Pittsburgh’s lost inclines! Historygasm.
7. Community Human Services Holiday Gift Card drive is underway. It’s so easy to just buy a few gift cards for those in our city who need them the most. Check it out here.
I’m going to try to get my butt to the Hough’s party again this year.
8. Just me, putting a bug in your ear that in early February I’ll be begging you for some of your dollars to donate to the next phase of Make Room for Kids with the Mario Lemieux Foundation and local Microsoft folks. We are going to be outfitting two units at CHP with gaming and other tech distractions … the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit (CICU) and the Trauma Unit. More soon on that. Just do me a favor and set a few bucks aside for it. LOVE YOU!
9. Shut up! Fallingwater has a satellite holiday gift store downtown for the holiday shopping season!
I’m so there.
I like this one too:
11. Let’s check in with Jeff Reed on Twitter:
12. Has anyone heard from Shaun Suisham lately? Did he get the trash I left for him on his lawn?
Not at all.