Pittsburgh, this is half not a real post/half a real post.
This first part is a post to ask you that if you get paid in the next few weeks, could you go to the ATM, get $5 or $10 bucks out, stick it in a baggie in your freezer, and then when I ask you for it in early February when I try to raise $10,000 for Make Room for Kids, you’ll give it to me and the Mario Lemieux Foundation? (Hiya, Mario. I love you. Will you marry me?)
Hell, send me a picture of your $5 in the freezer. I’ll post every single damn one of them. We’re being crazy ambitious this year and we’re going to need every single cent. I promise these kids need it. Group hug.
So last night was the Pittsburgh Magazine Pittsburgher(s) of the Year party, honoring the Pirates.
It was held at the Casino, included real actual outdoor and indoor fireworks (Pittsburgh, YEAH!) and was very fancy. Wine, shrimp, crab legs, grape leaves, stinky cheeses. Someone make a chart that shows the relationship of cheese stinkiness to cheese fanciness.
Wait. I’ll do it.
There you go. I just gave myself an A-plus for that.
And a gold star.
And a no-homework pass.
I’m very self-congratulatory.
It was a great event. I got to chat with Rick Sebak about getting drunk on margaritas.
I got to be the sole attendee drinking IC Light from the bottle.
I got to meet some readers, one of whom is a nun and I was like, “Tsk. Does God know you’re reading my potty language?”
And she was like, “Shut up. I love you.”
Nuns are cool.
Neal Huntington, Bob Nutting, and Frank Coonelly all showed up to accept the award and then stick around and chat with attendees. I just happened to be standing near Neal Huntington when he found himself alone and THAT WOULDN’T LAST because it’s a bird; it’s a plane; it’s …
SUPER AWKWARD BLOGGER GIRL! [awkward kung fu moves]
Remember how embarrassing I was when I met Mario Lemieux? Why fix what ain’t broke?
Me: “I LOVE YOU. I do. I love the Pirates. I am their biggest fan and supporter and I love you and can I touch your arm and your silky hair will you marry me you are the best [sports butt slap] you have better hair then Jeff Jimerson I can’t believe I just said that don’t tell Jeff how do you feel about pigeons can I hug you I love the Pirates will you marry me I am a really really big fan can I get a picture with you can it be a selfie okay great will you marry me?”
Neal: [scared smile]
[swishes cape and runs off in dramatic fashion]