My name is Virginia Montanez and for three years I wrote The Burgh Blog under the alias of PittGirl, until one day that bitch got too heavy to carry around so I dropped her like a Sheetz paper towel dispenser. I revealed my identity, launched this new site and promptly lost my job.

That’s Church is my little phrase stolen from Snoop Dogg in an episode of Monk. It means, “It is so. It is true. It is church.” If you’re new here, you definitely want to read the Lexicon so as not to find yourself lost in a sea of thugalicious self-united husbands.

I have a comment policy here and that is this: Don’t be a troll.

I write a humor column for Pittsburgh Magazine and I blog for them as well.

I hate pigeons. If there were a million suns each holding another million suns, that is still not enough fire for me to properly describe to you how hot my hatred for pigeons burns. If I wouldn’t get arrested for doing it, I would stab pigeons in Market Square during lunch time. For free.

Sick kids tear me apart and I will do anything for them. Anything.

I love Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, football, hockey, David Conrad, pumpkin spice lattes, high-heeled do-me boots, my family, and Zima (sob).

I love Pittsburgh. If I could pick it up, wrap my arms around it, kiss it on the forehead and tell it I love it for all its faults, I so would.

This is my blog. It’s Pittsburgh. Only cooler.

(photos by Kimberly Reed Photography)