Category Archives: Awesome Burghers
- January 17, 2014
- filed under Awesome Burghers, David Conrad, Matt Lamanna, Mayor Peduto, Mayor Ravenstahl, Steelers
- 4 comments
1. [taps microphone] Is this thing on?
Whew! It’s been a hell of a January. I mean, it was New Year’s Eve, I blinked at midnight and BOOM. January 17.
I’m still here. Still writing. Still wishing Portland to suck it.
Lots to cover, so get your clicky finger ready.
2. Russell Crowe is reportedly returning to the Burgh to film a new movie. As you recall, when Mr. Crowe last filmed in Pittsburgh, he loved it so much he would take miles and miles of bike rides through the city.
Stalk-o-meter calibrated to “Stun and Throw Your Body In Front of His Bike Forcing Him to Render Aid Unto You While Speaking With an Adorable Aussie Accent.”
Amanda Seyfried and Breaking Bad‘s Aaron Paul will co-star.
I’ve never seen a single episode of Breaking Bad and it’s very rude how judgy you’re looking at me right now.
Hee. Apparently these guys missed the first part of the “carry a big stick” saying.
4. David Conrad. Still loves Pittsburgh.
“I love how sweet my homeland is. Sweet eyes. Sweet beer. Sweet hills and valleys stuffed with trees. Walking out of the airport and into a summer night, breathing in the green, sodden air for the first time in months…it’s practically pornographic. I want to drink it, lap it. I want it on me. I love her, love her Pittsburgh.”
6. Speaking of dinosaurs, did I tell you that I finally met my self-united husband Matt Lamanna? He is awesome, adorable, smart, and we are best friends forever.
I’ll be writing that story up for the magazine soon. It’s a good one.
7. Bill Cowher claimed to 93.7 The Fan that all NFL coaches try to steal signals, not just Bill Belichick, who he says simply got overly arrogant by filming it.
8. Is this the best episode of Pittsburgh Dad ever?
Joe DeNardo gets the Chuck Norris treatment. Genius.
9. Thanks to Fukuda (NOT pronounced “f–k you da”) for finding these sweatshirts at Walgreens.
Gotta love that at no point from design to production to delivery to store stocking did anyone notice that independent was misspelled.
Also, someone oughta tell the sweatshirt designer that that bell is in Philadelphia, not Pittsburgh.
10. Luke Ravenstahl, NOT “Taking Care of Business” anymore.
Mr. Peduto said his name will not be “printed, painted or engraved on any long-term city property.”
“City property should not be used to campaign for political office,” he said in a statement issued with the order on Thursday. “The City’s physical assets are owned by the taxpayers. Under my administration, these assets will be marked only with basic identifying information and the City seal.”
You guys. We MAY actually have a real mayor.
Somewhere, Luke Ravenstahl wakes up:
Or is it nerdgasm?
Is it the geeks or nerds who love comic books?
Yes, I am all of those, because I purchased the six-issue Alpha comic book series from Marvel because it is Marvel’s first superhero comic series set in Pittsburgh and as I said, geeknerddorkdweebgasm!
Alpha is the story of teen Andy McGuire who Peter Parker accidentally turned into a superhero who can only use one power at a time. Andy moves to Pittsburgh with his mom and becomes, as he calls himself, “the protector of Pittsburgh.”
He attends the fictional John Forbes High School and spends a few panels inside the “University of Pittsburgh Medical Center” and also while standing in front of “Eat and Park.”
Here are a few of my favorite Burghy panels:
You can purchase the digital editions right here at only $2.99 each and have a geeknerddorkdweebgasm of your own.
1. It’s all fun and games until the tarantula food escapes.
That’s going on my gravestone.
2. So remember that topless protest I wrote about, in which I told you there are perfectly good reasons to keep boobies covered up? Well, the protest took place over the weekend.
Here’s the AP’s take:
Pittsburgh topless rally winds up anything but
PITTSBURGH (AP) — A Pittsburgh rally planned by a group hoping to Celebrate Women’s Equality Day by having women march topless alongside men in bikinis turned out to be anything but.
Fewer than a dozen protesters showed up Sunday, and none of the women bared their tops — though a handful of men did.
PUNCH ALL THE MEDIA THINGS.
For future reference, WTAE, when a throng of thousands of angry people overrun downtown like biblical locusts to the point traffic is clogged, businesses are plundered and looted, and chaos runs rampant, that’s when you pull out your “take over Pittsburgh” headline.
Not for eight covered boobies walking slowly to the Point.
The next time Occupy Pittsburgh does their thing, I fully expect the WTAE headline to read, “Armageddon nigh. World all but over.”
3. An ex-pat Burgher wrote for ChicagoNow.com the six things she misses most about Pittsburgh, then followed it up with “Six real reasons not to move to Pittsburgh” and it was the most goat-getting thing I’ve read about the Burgh in a while. So I wrote about it for my Pittsburgh Magazine blog:
3. Lack of plentiful public transportation has resulted in a culture of drunk driving in Pittsburgh.
Rebuttal: My goat is dead.
Yes, public transportation needs to be fixed. It’s a black eye. But this is a terrible accusation, one that I can refute with facts.
Kids grow up knowing they’re low on the totem pole. Choices are limited. Freedom to just be is tempered by cultural restraints. They’re placed in boxes: “You are a girl. You will like pink, purple and these three aisles in Target. You will get the ‘girl toy’ at the drive-thru. Get in this box that I have bedazzled for you; it’s filled with Barbie dolls and Hello Kitty press-on nails. And you are a boy. You will like sports, NERF guns and armpit farts. Here is a box of dirt and worms. I buried some Matchbox cars and G.I. Joes in there. Hop in.”
But what about the girl who wants to play with dirt instead of Barbies? Or the boy who wants to play the violin instead of third base? They’re special, too, and that’s what Mister Rogers was telling us as children. He was saying, “Screw the box!” Jump out of its cookie-cutter confines and run free to whatever your heart loves because doing that is what will make you special — embracing and accepting you.
5. Jamie and Ali McMutrie’s Haitian Families First is at it again with a new year of #46in46 where they try to get 46 of their Haitian kids funded for school this year.
Reminder: In Haiti, kids don’t HAVE to go to school; they GET to go to school. It’s a privilege for those who can afford it and Jamie and Ali are working to make sure their kids can afford it.
Last year I sponsored this angel Ylionise, and it was extra meaningful to me because Jamie and Ali worked so hard to bring her to the US for life-saving heart surgery. Now she’s healthy and back in Haiti getting an education thanks to them.
Get a group of your friends together and adopt one of their kids’ educations!
6. The staff and residents at Asbury Heights nursing home, who probably have pretty clear memories of Roberto’s career, show their Bucco spirit (click for embiggen):
7. Genre’s Kids with Cancer run/walk is happening next month, a whole block from my house. I’ll be there … not running. BUT I’LL BE THERE AND THAT’S WHAT COUNTS.
8. Also, why not run the Mario Lemieux Foundation 6.6K run/family walk in this its inaugural year. I mean, if you’re a loony who loves to run, why not run for sick kids?
Can you tell I quit that whole running business? Because, you guys, I hate running.
Back to low-carb diet/Jillian Michaels/praying for wasting disease for me.
9. David Conrad. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
10. Soup to Nutz’s annual tribute cartoon strip for Roberto Clemente’s birthday.
11. Finally, I shared this on Twitter, but it really needs to be seen.
On a scale of 1 to Roid-Raging Mike Tyson, how punchy does this sign make you?
This is not “Steel City chic:”
That’s “Yinzer-Ho Barbie.”
(h/t @moxiebestos on Twitter)
Before we head into the weekend, gotta tell you guys that if you don’t have anything to do tomorrow, you’re going to want to spend five bucks to attend the Great American Water Balloon Fight taking place at Highmark Stadium at Station Square.
Listen to this:
– Matt Cooke will be there. THE. COOKIE.
– Team Captains (you can join a team if you want to partake in the war):
– You can choose to buy some water balloons to whip at the teams from the stands, meaning you get to inflict damage without getting wet yourself. That’s pretty badass.
– Jeff Jimerson is singing the National Anthem and spreading his awesomeness all over the place.
– Food vendors!
– Kids area full of fun!
– CODY SIMPSON WILL BE THERE. I HAVE NO IDEA WHO CODY SIMPSON IS BUT HE WILL BE THERE AND YOUR TWELVE-YEAR-OLD IS GOING TO FREAK BECAUSE HE IS SUPER FAMOUS APPARENTLY!
I asked my 13-year-old niece to show me a picture of him on her iPhone and the picture she showed me was the most blingee-ed-out bedazzled animated sparkle unicorn exploding heart gif you’ve ever seen.
I guess he’s a big deal.
Anyway, all this is for Haiti. HAITI. Pittsburgh loves Haiti and we’ll always do anything we can for the people of Haiti.
This might be the most fun you’ll ever have helping people in need.
Just be careful if you choose to join the battle. I hear those mothers can HURT.