Category Archives: Dan Onorato

Random n’at

1.The Cirque tickets giveaway is completed with comment #65 chosen by (have emailed the winner but haven’t heard back yet). It seems that the most common answer was that you wanted to be able to dance without looking stupid.

I can relate.

When I start dancing in my kitchen, my daughter usually gets upset and screams, “MOMMY. YOU GOTTA STOP THAT.”

And if I don’t, she cries.

My dancing MAKES HER CRY.

Beat that.

2. The other day I was watching a tied Buccos game (hold your pearls, we lost) in the 10th inning and in the span of like three minutes I watched Ronny Cedeno hit a ball down the third base line, assume it was going foul, stop running part way to first base, and then stand there stunned because the ball was not foul and his out ended the inning, and then a minute later he bobbled a throw to him at second, which was thrown after it was overrun by the outfielder whose name is escaping me right now probably because it knows if it enters my brain space, I will bitchslap it back to oblivion, and this was all followed by a wild throw to first allowing a runner to advance to third and then a wild throw by some other name I can’t remember to home allowing a runner to score the winning run.

I blame Ronny for all of that because he started it.

But …

That’s gross.

3. Cyril Wecht has informed Dan Onorato that he wants his old job back.

Someone should inform Cyril Wecht that he’s eighty-years-old.

Was that ageist? [shrug]


County Executive Dan Onorato (ahn-oh-RAH’-toh) must name a medical examiner because Dr. Karl Williams’ five-year term expired in December.

Crap. We’re back to this again. I thought it was ON-oh-RAH’-toe?

4. ESPN writer Thomas Neumann was pulling for Skippy Skeve to get the Madden 12 cover.

I know he’s joking, but seriously how fantastic would that have been?

Someone mock that up. Put some sluts on there. Big ones.

(h/t George)

5. RiverLife asked some Burghers about living in a river city and then they made an amazing animated video of one of the stories.

Emily’s animated story is a work of art, particularly the part where she puts her toes in the river and then fireworks explode overhead.  The animated Fort Pitt Tunnel exit is awesome too.

YouTube Preview Image

You can upload your story to YouTube and it might be selected to be animated next.

I’d like to see them animate that time I was on the PNC corporate rowing team and I did what’s called an “over-the-head crab.” It basically looked like this.

That was awesome in a painfully embarrassing kind of way.

6. If you love birds (hold your pearls, I don’t), then you’ll love this new contest the Aviary is holding called Best Birdhouse in the Burgh, in which various age groups are charged with building sturdy birdhouses for one of four categories.

Here’s the cool thing. In addition to other prizes like lifetime Aviary memberships, the adult winners get TO SWIM WITH THE PENGUINS!

So jealous.

If only they wanted birdhouses for falcons.

I’d paint the walls with pigeon blood and carpet it with their carcasses.


Oh, Danny Boy

This image was taken by reader @PghBornnBred who sent it to me on Twitter.

Downtown. During the Steelers rally today, a banner the County had printed:

We’ve all been so busy discussing whether or not there’s an S at the end of Steeler and now Dan Onorato has to go and throw the “THE” bomb at us.

Steelers Nation is wrong. The Steelers Nation is super wrong.

Ask and ye shall receive

From reader Mark in response to my request in this post:

Someone get SyFy on the horn. We already have the title and the artwork; we just need the script.

Things I hear

(screenshot from Tom Corbett’s site. Someone change that to “WHEN DAN’S EYEBROWS ATTACK” for me)

Three memorable things I’ve heard since yesterday.

1. Marshall shouting “SWEET MOTHER NATURE!” on How I Met Your Mother. I’m going to find a way to use that. Probably the first time I find a picture of a shirtless Daniel Sepulveda. Or Mike Wallace.

2. On WPXI, during a segment about the Bethel Park School strike, they had a soundbite from a parent. Parental reaction to the strike. This is the soundbite they chose:

“It is … what it is. If they’re going to strike … they’re going to strike.”

BRAVO! So much said there. It’s like “Que sera, sera,” but with more words.

3. This morning on the radio, a commercial for Tom Corbett:

“[voice of doom] The Northshore Connector is a blah blah blah … costing … blah blah blah … but it might as well be called [pause] [super doomy voice of doom gets even doomier] THE DAN ONORATO TUNNEL TO NOWHERE.”

LOL. Take a note, Internet, the Northshore Connector shall hereforetoeverafter be known as [doomy voice] THE DAN ONORATO TUNNEL TO NOWHERE.

And you have to say it in all caps with lots of doom.

“Excuse me, Sir. I’m a little lost. What’s the fastest route to the stadiums?”

“Well, you’re gonna wanna go left here and then take the [doomy voice] DAN ONORATO TUNNEL TO NOWHERE.”

Oh-no-rat-oh? Aw-nor-ah-toe?

Dan Onorato, current chief executive of Allegheny County and candidate for governor of Pennsylvania, has a new commercial out and in it, he is sure to tell us how to pronounce his name, because apparently, his name is hard to pronounce.


This is how I pronounce it. On-or-ought-o.

Is that not right? I am putting the emphasis on the “On” and then the “ought.” Is that not right?

Let’s go to the video to see:

YouTube Preview Image


1. I love it that he awkwardly segues from big government and term limits IMMEDIATELY into, “Some of you have a hard time pronouncing my last name.”

Who wrote this? I hope his next commercial says, “My opponent’s plan will cripple the economy of Pennsylvania, and some of you might not know that I volunteer at the food bank.”

2. Then when he is teaching us how to pronounce his name, he inexplicably holds up a card printed on which is … his name. Not the phonetic spelling of his name. Just his name. And he holds up this card with his name after his name has already been shown on the video three times including a bum-bum-bum syllable by syllable appearance of it.

It’s almost comical watching him hold that card up so enthusiastically, like he’s scoring a mambo on Dancing with the Stars.

3. Now, two different readers have informed me that at the end, the announcer mispronounces “Onorato.” I can’t really tell. What do you think?

I love the beta closed captioning available on some YouTube videos and I activated it on this one to see what YouTube thought of the pronunciation of his name:

So yes, he IS mispronouncing it.

It’s not “Been On A Runoff,” Mr. Announcer; it’s “And On Arrival.”

So glad we cleared this up.