Category Archives: Ken Rice

Random n’at

(Photo from Philip G. Pavely/Trib)

1. Today, despite having not heard the song since it was popular mumble years ago, I got Cher’s “Just Like Jesse James” stuck in my head.

That’s messed up shit, as earworms go. I’d rather have Air Supply stuck in there.

Shit. Now I have Air Supply stuck in there.

2. My fourth self-united husband Joe Manganiello is in town this week as he visits his alma mater Mt. Lebanon High School to accept an award and also hosts a fundraiser for SICK KIDS. He spent some time yesterday visiting kids on the 9th floor of Children’s Hospital, the Oncology and “Frequent Fliers” floor, which you remember we outfitted this spring with gaming thanks to Make Room for Kids.

See. I don’t just pick hot self-united husbands. I pick kindred spirits. Bosom friends. Good neighbors.

Step off.

3. I’m attending the showing of Wicked Thursday night with my sister Princess Aurora of Wexfordhampsminstershire and I am dying to find out what all the fuss is about this show. My mother has been going on about it forever, it seems. Almost all of the shows are sold out, but that doesn’t mean you can’t snag a ticket now that the Cultural Trust has announced a $25 ticket lottery for Orchestra seats!

A day-of-performance lottery for a limited number of orchestra seats will be held daily for WICKED, which will be performing from Wednesday, September 7 through Sunday, October 2, at the Benedum Center.  Each day, 2½ hours prior to show time people who present themselves at the Theater Square Box Office, 655 Penn Avenue, downtown Pittsburgh will have their names placed in a lottery drum and then thirty minutes later, names will be drawn for a limited number of orchestra seats at $25 each, cash only.  This lottery is available only in-person at the box office, with a limit of two tickets per person.

Awesome and worth the shot.

4. The Sidney Crosby presser was exactly what we thought it would be. Sid feels better, up to 80-90%, but still no timetable for his return.

However, the good news is that his doctors are optimistic he will have a long career.

All we know for sure right now is this: Sid is in town and he is still super adorable.

Also, Sid’s doctor called Sid a Ferrari.

Should I be worried my doctor calls me a Winnebago?

What?

5.  Local band 1-2-3, the duo behind the Work song and video that I love so much, have a show coming up this Sunday at Mr. Smalls!

I’ve never been to Mr. Smalls. Does that make me a bad Burgher?

6. One of the prizes for the Rachel Carson Homestead Raffle is pretty freaking awesome and involves my charter self-united husband:

City councilman Bill Peduto and actor David Conrad have agreed to donate their time as an amazing prize package in the Community Experiences Raffle. The two have agreed to team up on  September 24th, 2011, at 1:00pm  and act as personal chefs for one lucky winner and 10 of their closest friends. They will barbecue and socialize at the Homestead (food and beer provided by RCHA).

Details here!

7. Pittsburgh police are working hard to eradicate drug dealers from downtown via Operation: Stink Bug.

Man, I have said this before and I will say it again now. I would REALLY like to be the person who gets to name operations.

Operation: Hellfire Scourge Death Bomb

Operation: Incontinent Tarantula

Operation: Oozing Orifice

Operation: Son of McBeam

How awesome would it be to hear Ken Rice be all, “Pittsburgh police rounded up 23 suspected downtown drug dealers today via Operation: Teat of Goat …”

8. The Seattle Seahawks cut Jeff Skippy Skeeve Foul Dwarf Reed who they signed after he was released by the team that wears the gold pants. I’m not good with names.

One writer with Seattle Weekly is sad about it:

The proximate cause of Reed’s dismissal was the fact that only three of his five kickoffs in the Seahawks’ preseason finale on Friday made it to the end zone. At 32, he’s getting on in years, especially considering that he’s lived many of those years to a remarkable degree of excess.

“Remarkable degree of excess.”

I like that. It makes all the drinking and whoring he did sound so refined.

I’m going to steal that.

  • “But officer! I wasn’t stalking Jeff Jimmerson; I was just observing him with a remarkable degree of excess.”
  • “I didn’t inhale a jar of Nutella; I simply partook of it to a remarkable degree of excess.”
  • “I didn’t murder the pigeon; I simply tased it to a remarkable degree of excess.”
  • “The Pirates are sucking to a remarkable degree of excess lately.”

9. Remarkable Degree of Excess would make a good band name.

So would Teat of Goat.

 





Even more Burgh awesomeness for the kids!

ikea-logoPIT

First, Saturday is promising to be a ton of fun.  Lots of Burghers are planning to attend the Make Room for Kids kickoff at Las Velas from 6-9 this Saturday, including Mikey and Big Bob from KISS Morning Freak Show on 96.1, Tall Cathy from 96.1 provided no one books her for another event (NOBODY BOOK HER!), Jim Lokay from KDKA, Sally Wiggin!, representatives from the Mario Lemieux Foundation, and more as I continue to bother local celebs.

I’m looking at you, Matt Lamanna.

And at you, Ken Rice.

And at you, David Conrad.

I hope some of you readers can come out and have dinner or a few drinks with us!  Here’s the post if you missed what I’m talking about.

Now, BIG GIANT NEWS!

We are raising $10,000 for the game room, and thanks to IKEA-Pittsburgh, Mario Lemieux Foundation will not have to use ANY of that money to buy furniture!

Because it is run by amazing people, IKEA-Pittsburgh contacted me out of the blue and offered the following:

  • Up to $5,000 in IKEA merchandise (furniture, artwork, rugs, tv consoles, etc.) to furnish the game room
  • Design services to create a fun, hip lounge feel
  • Delivery, assembly and installation services to complete the project
  • Host a fundraiser breakfast in their restaurant with proceeds going to MLF (more details on that at a future date)

Top Gun volleyball scene high-five and flip it down for a reverse low-five, Burghers!

I didn’t even have to ASK THEM!  That is how awesome they are.  They saw a way to help locally and they jumped at it.  The money is coming from their local in-kind charitable donations fund because helping children is their #1 philanthropic activity.

It is all coming together.  More details as I get them and more local celebs as I stalk them.

Oh! Is Charlie Batch traveling with the team this weekend in light of his surgery today?

If not, I’M ALSO LOOKING AT YOU, CHARLIE BATCH!

Also, if you happen to be in IKEA’s Pittsburgh location today, would you just like grab any employee you see and hug them for me?





Why are you freaking out like that?

Wow. You seriously need to take some deep breaths into a Dunkin’ Donuts bag or something. Look at you all, “OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!”  Save some punctuation for other readers for gosh sakes.

Big news coming soon. Giant news. GIANT FRESHLY SHOWERED news.

Enjoy the archives for a week or two if you’d like until the GIANT FRESHLY SHOWERED news is ready to be revealed.





Steeler time.

Happy Halloween!

Wouldn’t Stupendous Man be a great Halloween costume?

So, let’s talk Steelers, shall we?

1.  The Steelers are losing to the Redskins in the Chunky Soup weekly matchup.  That’s bad.

We’re 8-0 for Chunky matchups, so clearly, you need to go vote to keep us undefeated, all in the name of charity via soup donations to food banks.

While you’re voting, ponder this:  Why hasn’t Chunky approached Baby Cici Donna about being its spokesfatty?

(h/t Leah and Rebecca)

2.  You know Snoop Dogg is a Steelers fan, but now he’s managed to combine the Steelers and the Buccos of Suckitude onto one article of clothing.

I hope the suckitude of that Pirates P doesn’t ooze down and get on the awesome of the Steelers logo.

Also, nice boots lady.   Oy.  Is that part of your Super Grover costume?

(h/t Sandra)

3.  Why have I never seen this video of Snoop Dogg, Bill Cowher and The Duke before?

I love how Snoop is trying to do the street kind of handshake with Coach Cowher and Coach Cowher starts patting Snoop’s hand all, “Such a nice young boy. Would you like a butterscotch?”

But my favorite moment is at :16 when The Duke throws signs at the camera all, “Yo.  Fuggin’ it up in da hizzle!”

Also, that video made me miss Bill Cowher a little bit.  [tear]

4. Benny says it is very distracting seeing hot girls stretch.

They try to make their cheerleaders stretch in our tunnel before we come out of the locker room. That’s just not good,” Roethlisberger said yesterday.

“The couple of preseason games I’ve played down there, we’ve seen it,” Roethlisberger said.

And it’s a distraction?

“It can be, let’s be truthful.”

You know, I can’t write about that because I’m not a guy (says Ken Rice) and I don’t really understand how watching some hot sexy girls stretch would be enough of a distraction pre-game to affect your performance during a game.

I mean, ladies, correct me if I’m wrong, but they could have a whole host of hot guys in skimpy clothes doing stretches and we’d be all, “Nice pecs, babycakes” and that’d be it.  Game time.

We wouldn’t be affected unless those guys were also carrying rather large diamonds, some Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, and a caddy of cleaning products because they’d really like to clean our houses.

And that’s not a euphemism.

You can start with the bathrooms.

(h/t DW and Ben)





Random n’at.

1. Despite the fact that 99.9% of the population thinks it tastes like puke, loyal readers are still offering me condolences and ideas about Zima’s demise.

Cynthia is working on an alternative recipe, while the guys at Three Rivers Underground Brewers offered to teach me to make my own, while someone that works for the distributor offered to help me find some of the last cases in the city.

This is me tracing a heart over my heart.  Love you.

So, Cynthia’s got one recipe started that I’ll try this weekend, while anonymity declares I can’t join Three Rivers Underground Brewers, and I’m considering seeing if the distributor would trade me the Zima recipe for a licked penny.

I’ll keep you posted.

2.  Pennies taste terrible.

3.  Speaking of tasting like puke, reader Pens Princess wrote:

I got a new Starbucks drink for ya! Caramel Apple Spice. Try it and let me know how much you love it!

So I tried it.  And it tasted like puke.  Really.

So on my way home I said to myself, “Self.  Father of PittGirl would love this.”

I dropped it off at my parents’ house and he was all, “What?  What is this? [sip] Why don’t you like it?”

“Because it tastes like puke.”

“Mmmm.”

Ew.

4.  Here are some more PittGirl possibilities from PodCamp Pittsburgh 3.

Could I be, as many people believe, my butler Woy?

Note the Masloff for President shirt.

Or maybe I’m Dawn who so graciously provided these photos?

Or Jennie?

Or maybe this cutie:

Or THIS cutie-patootie:

Wow.  I want that shirt.

Or maybe I’m behind Should I Drink That?

Or, could PittGirl be some two-headed monster?

Perish the thought.

5.  Dear “Jim Lokay”, please get a photo of Ken Rice wearing a PittGirl nametag.  KTHXBAI.

6.  An email from Johnny from Brewing Up A Cure.

After your post, the hits to our website shot through the roof. I know it was from your post because you became the top site that we got visits from. The event was a great success and we made over $21,000 to donate to Cystic Fibrosis. You can see some pictures of the event.

Awesome.

7.  Dennis Roddy is in Slate with his take on the bloviating nincompoop.  It is quite the read.

(h/t Mark)

8.  Sidney Crosby is the 45th most influential man in the world according to AskMen.com.

(h/t PittCheMBA)