Category Archives: Mayor Ravenstahl

Random n’at


1. If you haven’t yet, please scroll down or click here to see pictures of the $20,000 in technology upgrades we dropped off and installed at The Children’s Home of Pittsburgh this week.

2. Reader Kathleen is running the Pittsburgh 1/2 Marathon for Genre’s Kids With Cancer Fund.

If you’re looking for a charitable place to spread some good karma today, go throw in a few dollars for her? She only needs about $240 more to reach her goal!

For sick kids!

3. The Bucs are in second place. Half game out of first. They’ve won 12 of their last 16, I think. The best team in baseball, Atlanta, has only lost 6 games all season, and three of those were to the Pirates.


4.  Did you know you can buy Yinzer Bingo at Wildcard and another store that sells them, but I lost the name? There’s a K in the name? Anyone? Anyone? Zober?

Regardless, LOOK!



These are created by John the Craftist, who is actually a woman. Look at some of the other amazing stuff she creates, many of which are greeting cards:






I’m kind of in love with all of this and I wonder if there’s a Gemini one that says, “Witty. Passionate. Batshit Crazy.”

Anyway, I’ll be in Wildcard very soon to buy all the things.

5. Pigeons are assholes. And they smoke too. Look at this news photo from a 1989 edition of the Post-Gazette.

Click to embiggen and then read the caption.

The Pittsburgh Press   Google News Archive Search

Unreal. If today’s pigeons get wind of this, it is going to RAIN FIRE.

(h/t Jerry)

6. If you’re around Market Square next Friday morning …

Light of Life Rescue Mission is presenting former MLB player Sean Casey with the 3rd annual Locker Room Leadership Award at 9:30 a.m.  Sean is a former all-star baseball player for the Pittsburgh Pirates, Cincinnati Reds, Detroit Tigers, Boston Red Sox, and Cleveland Indians. Dennis Bowman will emcee, introducing former Steelers Tunch Ilkin and Craig Wolfley who will present Sean with the award.

I’ll be there hanging out for sure. Sean does amazing things for the homeless via Light of Life.

7. This is old, but shut up.

Pittsburgh leads the nation in people moving in.

Suck it, Portland.

8. Giant Eagle is grocery store Big Brother?

Also, people are STILL commenting on my pharmacy rant. My God.

9. Lukey went AWOL, said he never left the city, but apparently his press secretary thought he went to Bradenton at one point. 

That sounds right.

10. Pretty sure the P-G is going to endorse Wagner after reading this article. Why? Just scroll down and read the comment left by Matt Barron. The P-G very conveniently left out some HUGE names that endorsed Bill Peduto yesterday. 

[golf clap]

11. Headline: “Penguins Drop Second Straight.”


Seriously. Two losses in a row. NBD.

12. The fountain is almost ready to go!

Here’s an image from today via Point Park TV’s twitter account:


Cannot wait until I can take my kids for a stroll around the fountain again.


Also unreal? That WTAE used FOUR anchors to intro it. Hah!

But seriously … amazing video.

14. Mother’s Day!

I wrote about Pittsburgh Moms for the May magazine edition. A snippet:

Our conversations about the latest episode of “Greatest American Hero” turned to hushed whispers. There was no whining about elbows in ribs or bothersome jelly-shoe blisters. While we painfully swallowed our sneezes, our mom drove with her chin hovering 3 inches above the steering wheel and her hands locked in a death-grip. She’d hold this position until the wagon was safely parked — which is when she’d exhale and revoke the sacred Writ of Silentium Absolutus.

I didn’t appreciate it then, but I can see it now for what it was: My mother was doing something far outside of her comfort zone so that her girls could have nice clothes (that didn’t scream, “Five kids. One job. Hills is where the toys are.”).

And I also put together a Burghy Mother’s Day gift guide for you. Everything from Burgh-made jewelry, to an awesome Pirates iPhone case, to BYOB painting classes where Mom can paint her own Pittsburgh skyline, and LOTS more.

I mean, the Confluence necklace pictured up top of this post? Holy moly.

Check all the gift suggestions out here.

15. Finally, your amazing tweets:



Random n’at.


(Chef at Light of Life Rescue Mission holding donated forks)

1. Oh. My. God.

Who would have thought one little Giant Eagle pharmacy rant would result in the madness it did and in the criticism toward me that it did?

You’ve got to go read the comments; you’d think I wrote a post about how we should kill all the puppies.

Oh, and I didn’t even include the part about how that was the second time that day I had tried to pick up that prescription, as they claimed the first time that they didn’t have it and they sent me away.


2. Speaking of birds, the Aviary hatched a new owl chick, and when I think baby owls I think this:



I was wrong, though, because theirs is a baby EAGLE owl. 


I looked into its eyes for ten seconds and I can tell you in no uncertain terms …

… that thing wants to kill me.

Why are birds so evil?

3. The first mayoral TV-spot is out and it is Bill Peduto’s and I kind of love it. Well done.

YouTube Preview Image

4. Speaking of mayoral candidates, Jake Wheatley’s entire campaign site doesn’t have a single picture of him on it. Not even the “About Jake” page.


And AJ Richardson not only has a DUI, a prior arrest, face tattoos, and the penchant for referring to himself in the third person,but his website has autoplay. 



When are these mayoral candidates going to ask my advice about fixing their shit? I mean, what does “skillful in morality” even mean?

Lukey would have been mayor for life if he would have brought me on board years ago to run the Office of Church.

5. Ay caramba, Penn Avenue Fish Company.

(h/t Woozle on Twitter)

6. The PensBlog boys have a gif of Sidney Crosby not blinking for 15 straight seconds during last night’s game. 

You know who else does that?


7. Hadouken fights are the best Internet thing since the Rickroll, and this one from the Scarehouse made me pee a little it’s so awesome:


You gotta see the whole set from the “fight.” So perfect.

I hate that zombie. And that bunny. They look harmless until you’re standing in a scary room in the dark and their noses are three millimeters from your neck, and you hear them inhale. [shudder]

8. Does hadouken really work?

I hope so.

Because I’m going to try it on the pigeons in Market Square.

[awkward kung fu moves] [HADOUKEN!]

9. Jamie and Ali McMutrie have HUGE news in that they won the prestigious Norman Borlaug Humanitarian Award!

They were flown to Las Vegas to accept the award in front of a crowd of 4,000. They’re having a free reception to celebrate on April 18 in East Liberty. They’ll be giving away Pens playoff tickets there too!

Details here.

10. If you’re looking for an easy way to give back to the community, I have it for you. The Light of Life Rescue Mission on the North Side is in need of forks for their meal services to the homeless. That’s it!

Not plasticware, as they like to reuse, but any old, mismatched forks you might have around the house can be dropped off at the mission on the North Side. I did it and it takes five seconds to hand them over at the front desk.

11. Pittsburgh is the new Hollywood, as a new A&E series will be both set here, and filmed here.

12. WUT?

But the device attached to the man’s body wasn’t a bomb at all. He took road flares and taped them to his chest. He then stuck an iPod earbud up his nose and ran the cord down to the flares.

Can you just picture this idiot coming up with this plan? Taping the flares to his chest, looking at himself in the mirror all, “How can I make this look even MORE realistic? iPOD EARBUD UP THE NOSE, GENIUS!”

13. Finally, some awesome Pittsburgh tweets:





Randy wins.

Oh, Lukey

This marks the SIXTH time in my blogging “career” that I’ve had to write a post entitled “Oh, Lukey.”

1. The first happened in 2007 when it was revealed that Lukey, or “myself and other individuals,” were kind of sort of arrested at PNC Park in 2005.

2. The second happened in 2007 when Lukey apparently hired Maya Angelou to write his budget address.

3. The third was in 2008 when Lukey was asked about Martin Luther King Jr. and he went all PoliticoBot 2000. 

4. The fourth quite possibly hinted at early tension in the Ravenstahl marriage, now that I’m looking back on it.

5. And the last and fifth time I did it, it was when Lukey publicly stated that he didn’t know who should pay for him(self) (hee!) to attend the Stanley Cup game in Detroit, to which I responded:

Dear Lukey,

If you would just hire PittGirl to be your Chief of That’s Church you would never have the entire city pointing at you and laughing at your inability to know the correct answer to this question.

No, instead, you would have walked into my plush corner office (corner table at Dunkin Donuts) and asked ME that question and I would have said, “Lukey, do what every person on the face of the earth knows to do. USE YOUR OWN DAMN MONEY!!!”

And as he was walking away from me, disappointed in my answer, I’d be calling after him, “That’s church, baby!  Don’t be a hater!”

And here we are today in 2013, in this my 3,601st post on my blog and I’m using it to say … “Oh, Lukey!”

Go read this over at the Early Returns blog at the Post-Gazette.

In a nutshell, Saleem Ghubril has apparently been moved to the top of Luke Ravenstahl’s “Lame Duck Shit List” because he has turned on Saleem in epically public fashion.

Saleem is the head of the Pittsburgh Promise, if you don’t know. And if you don’t know that …



So when Saleem wrote a letter to the editor, like Freddie Fu did (DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THAT BULLSHIT), Luke or someone using his official Facebook page commented to say this:

“Keep in mind as you read this … UPMC basically pays his salary! By the way … What is your salary Saleem?”

Well, I can tell you that. In 2011, it was $161,000 in total compensation. Boom! goes the Form 990.

Lukey’s valid point is that of course Saleem is going to come to UPMC’s defense in the case of Lukey v. UPMC. His job depends on it kind of.

But Lukey wasn’t done:

By the way Saleem…. Your a director (first and foremost) of an organization that would not exist without the vision and fortitude of Mark Roosevelt and myself. Just to remind u. Funny how quickly folks forget.

Well, he just said “Mark Roosevelt and myself” and removed all doubt as to whether or not this is Lukey. OF COURSE IT’S LUKEY. Who the hell else do you know uses the word “myself” so liberally?

Do I love it that Lukey seriously, honestly, 100% does not have a single f–k left to give? YES! I DO! I LOVE IT LIKE NUTELLA! I WANT TO HUG HIS INABILITY TO GIVE A RAT’S ASS ANYMORE!

Do I think this was probably not the most professional way to call out Saleem? Oh, hell yes.

If Lukey had come to me in my Office of That’s Church in Dunkin’ Donuts, this is what would have happened:

Lukey: “Your Highness of Churchitude, I’m thinking of using Facebook to stick it to Saleem Gubril. Good idea or bad? Say ‘good.'”

Me: “First, is my city debit card linked to the Nate Harper fiasco? Because if so, I’d like you to take it, puke on it, and feed it to a pigeon because I have put a SHIT TON of cappuccinos on this thing.

Second, I advise against this. You may have valid points, but going about it in this manner will seem childish and very high school-y in an OMG-CINDY-SPARKLES-HAD-THE-NERVE-TO-TEXT-MY-BOYFRIEND- SO-NOW-I’M-GOING-TO-START-A-CINDY-SPARKLES-IS-A-HUGE-WHORE-FACEBOOK-GROUP kind of way. My advice? Have someone with decent writing skillz (ahem, ahem) compose a letter to the editor or an op-ed piece for you in which you lay out the arguments as to why Saleem likely has ulterior motives and why you feel you can lay claim to starting the Promise, and why you feel going after UPMC is the right thing for Pittsburgh. And Lukey, if we’re being honest, the Promise is more Roosevelt’s than yours anyways. I know you don’t want to hear that, but this IS the Office of That’s Church.”

Lukey: “Ugh. FINE! I’m leaving. And no, your card is not tied to the Nate Harper account. [crosses fingers behind back]”

Me: “Good.”

Lukey: [starts to walk away]

Me: “Oh, and Lukey?”

Lukey: [turns] “Yeah?”


Lukey: [storms away]

Me: “That’s church, baby! Don’t be a hater!”


(h/t @thebitchdesk on Twitter)

Random n’at


1. Things look a little different on the blog this morning. First, I’ve taken down the Make Room For Kids thermometer, which was sitting over there so long on account of my laziness, natch. [eats a cookie]

You’ll also notice that the three featured posts are gone from just below the header. That is because apparently the widgets all got in a fight and started disabling each other with vicious bitchslaps.

My blog designer, Jennifer of Inksplash, is due to deliver a baby at … any … moment, and therefore, she won’t be able to tinker with it for a bit of time.

And why don’t I just tinker with it and fix it myself? LOL. You’d be surprised how very very little I know about WordPress and HTML and mothereffing widgets. In fact, when people email me to ask me for help with the techy stuff on their blogs, my response is, “LOL! SOMETHING SOMETHING VEAL!”

All that to say … the blog looks different! It’s not just you!

I’m wordy today.

2. A Mister Rogers story so unbelievable you might not believe it until you remember this is Mister Rogers we’re talking about and then you believe it. 

Wordiness is my co-pilot.

(h/t Randy Baumann)

3. How ’bout ‘dem Pens? I was glad they lost because they can’t never not lose again (triple negative, baby!) and I need them to lose now and not during the playoffs, eh?

Last night my brother-in-law Muchacho, Pens Fan’s husband, sent me a text so angry about Dan Potash, that I still to this moment do not understand what he was saying. He was apparently keyboard smashing on an iPhone, which isn’t an easy thing to do.

You know it’s bad in the Pens locker room when Dan Potash is forced to interview the opposing players.

And you know it’s a bad game when my brother-in-law turns on Dan Potash. That’s like walking up to Jeff Jimerson and being all, “No, I don’t want to run my fingers through your silky smooth hair.”


Also, wordiness! Get a cup of coffee; I’m using all the words today.

Including this one … brobdingagian.

[takes a bow]

4. Oh my God. We’re only on number 4.

5. Found on Reddit:


You know, if you have to drive a piece of shit car, you might as well drive an AWESOME piece of shit car.

Love it!

(h/t Charles)

6. A Calvin and Hobbes themed bedroom.

(h/t a bunch of yinz)

7. I recently reconnected to perhaps my favorite local artist Saihou O. Njie, whose paintings just … they’re amazing. I’ve been a fan for a decade now and someday, I will own one. Do you have one you want to sell me?

Anyway, check this out. His latest exhibit “Twinning,” at Manchester Craftsman’s Guild showcases his efforts to match 100 Africans with their African American lookalikes. 



8. is exactly what it sounds like.

(via Sarah from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books)

9. Why Jarome Iginla Chose The Penguins.

Sean Conboy is not only my editor, he is my spirit animal.

10. Things to read, because I can’t remember if I linked you to them or not on account of my previously discussed laziness [eats another cookie]:

11. “Three Things You Didn’t Know About Roberto Clemente.” Unless you are me, and then you knew all of them.

[awkward kung fu moves]

12. Tweets I love from you guys this week:

And now you have that jingle stuck in your head.

[drops mic and walks away]

Random n’at


1. First, a giant thank you to every single one of you who donated, tweeted, retweeted, Facebooked, or in any way helped with the Make Room for Kids fundraising effort this year.

The Amazon wish list is empty, which helped close the funding gap we were dealing with. The kids at The Children’s Home will get their computers and XBOXes and movies and games and printers and TVs, while the kids in the units we’ve already outfitted at Children’s Hospital will get the extra games they requested as well as the extra XBOX controllers.

Everyone will be happy!

Look for the install day post in late April and you’ll be able to see exactly what your donated dollars were spent on, and you’ll see the smiles they will bring to the sick kids.

2. The next mayor of Pittsburgh is not Bill Peduto or Michael Lamb … It’s Rebecca De Mornay.

Rebecca De Mornay and Nick Westrate have been cast as leads in NBC’s hourlong pilot Hatfields & McCoys, a take on the infamous feud set in present-day Pittsburgh. The startling death of the McCoy patriarch re-ignites the feud between the two legendary families, unleashing decades of resentment. De Mornay will play the central character of Mary Hatfield, the Mayor of Pittsburgh and matriarch of the powerful Hatfields, who basically run the city through their development company and political connections.

I like it.

Also, I’d like to volunteer my services to the writers to help them instill some true Pittsburgh flavor into the dialogue.

Mayor De Mornay: [slams hands on desk] If this gets out, things get ugly. Put a lid on it. I don’t need every yinzer from here to Aliquippa showing up and demanding we [finger quotes] “warsh the corruption out, n’at.” 

Email me, yo.

3. Pittsburgh Minecraft map.  There should be a Flyers skin for all the creepers.

I know way too much about Minecraft thanks to my kids.

4. This picture. Pittsburgh at dusk. MAN.

From wmellott on Reddit.

5. The Steelers have lost James Harrison, Mike Wallace, Willie Colon, Rashard Mendenhall.

They signed Matt Spaeth and William Gay, both former Steelers.

So basically our new strategy is “out with the old; in with the old.”


6. Pittsburgh’s Miss Smiling Irish Eyes 2013 is deaf. 

7. The teenaged founder and CEO of local company Simple Sugars will appear on Shark Tank on March 29. Set your DVRs.

8. The Knitting Lady sent me this pic of Geno holding her sock.



His face confuses me so much. For instance, here he is so attractive. Other times, it’s like WHOA, UGLY STICK!


9. “A very important in-depth analysis of early-90s style, featuring Jaromir Swagr” is the best thing you’ll read today.

I especially appreciate the scientific analysis of the ratio of the torso region to the leg region while he is wearing mom-jeans.

(h/t J)

10. Amazing pictures of Pittsburgh’s skyline taken this winter by Matt Robinson.

Couldn’t pick my favorite if there was an angry pigeon to my eyeball.

(h/t my dad)

11. Chatham University is holding a FREE fun-filled family-friendly Spring carnival complete with egg hunts, Easter Bunny photos, raffles, Haitian snacks, and more! And any proceeds or donations made are going to Haitian Families First!


See you there? I’ll be the one with the little girl who is begging the balloon artist to make her a pigeon.


[awkward kung fu moves]

12. And let’s end this post with some of my favorite tweets from awesome Burghers:

I don’t understand how I am the only person who starred that tweet. COME ON.

Thai McBistro would also be a great rapper name.