Category Archives: Random
So I had this idea that I could kind of shrink into the shrubbery of the internet in a quiet, very non-dramatic way, and boy, did that not happen.
I’ve been writing about Pittsburgh for 11 years now as PittGirl and I’ve always been very open with you, and I guess my final column at Pittsburgh Magazine (which you should read because it’s my love letter to this city) wasn’t open enough because THE EMAILS. THE TWEETS. THE “WHAT THE ACTUAL FLIPPING MOTHERLOVING HELL?!?”S.
I didn’t give the Post-Gazette a comment because I had planned my July column to be the last I had to say for a while, but with former butler Woy’s encouragement (in the form of a text that read simply “CLOSURE”) I realized I owe you a deeper explanation.
In hindsight, I wish I had responded to the P-G’s request for comment with: “I gotta bounce; the jagoffs are making me stabby,” just to see if I could get the word jagoff into the P-G.
The jagoffs aren’t really making me that stabby. Here’s my real explanation:
I need a break. I need to recharge the creative areas of my brain. I need to not be so INSIDE the internet for a while. I need to step away, particularly from social media. I’m going to live in real life now, and I’m going to write some things I’ve been wanting to write for a very long time.
ThatsChurch.com will soon be redirected to its complete archives (including Burgh Blog archives) at VirginiaMontanez.com. The site will be working correctly in the next few days as background widgetry falls into place. Not really widgetry. I just like that word. There’s not much there now, but if you want to see it, you can use this link.
You’re not going to hear from me for a while, but when I’m ready and when I have something to say, that is where you will find me. I am not turning my back on Pittsburgh. I am not leaving the city (as if!). I am not turning my back on Make Room for Kids (AS. IF.) or any of the nonprofit boards I sit on. I am not sick. There is no trauma or drama happening in my life other than the bird that got in my house the other day and terrorized me for hours (15 seconds).
I made this decision months ago when I gave the magazine my three-months notice. WENDY BELL HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT AND SHE CAN CONTINUE TO KISS MY SWEET SWEET ASS.
And I promise you, PROMISE YOU, the person Pittsburgh Magazine has taking my place is going to make you feel every emotion I’ve ever made you feel. It is who I recommended would be perfect to take over the space. I cannot wait for you to see who it is. You will see how life always comes full circle.
Much love. See you soon. PittGirl out.
(additional photos in this post provided by Microsoft and the Mario Lemieux Foundation)
By the quick math done by me and Mario Lemieux Foundation executive director Nancy Angus, Make Room for Kids has now installed Xboxes in an estimated 67% of in-patient rooms in Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh (plus outpatient oncology and infusion).
67% of the sick, hospitalized kids in our city have in-room gaming to help them pass the hours, to help them forget about their illnesses, to help them stop being “patients” and just be kids.
Your donations, the donations and dedication of Luke Sossi and his team at Microsoft, the donations of partners like the Holiday Park Volunteer Fire Department, the Scarehouse, Burgatory, and Genre’s Kids with Cancer Fund, and the entire staff at the Mario Lemieux Foundation have joined together for seven years now. Over 250 XBOXes. Thousands of games and movies. Computers. iPads. TVs. The list goes on.
Let me show you what your donations did yesterday at Children’s as we installed this year’s phase of Make Room for Kids in the GI/Pulmonary unit of the hospital, a unit that includes colitis, Crohn’s and cystic fibrosis patients.
It’s dark still, but Luke Sossi has SUVs packed and ready to head to Lawrenceville where he will meet up with Microsoft staff. I honestly don’t believe Luke sleeps the evening before MR4K install days. It’s like Christmas Eve for him, and he’s Santa.
SUV contents are unloaded onto carts and rolled into the hospital lobby around 9:00 a.m.
Here’s Woy helping haul the new 50-inch TV we bought for the GI playroom:
Time for a quick photo of the Microsoft team who will be handling the day’s installation in two units, as we not only installed Xboxes in every room of the GI unit, but we upgraded every Xbox in the Cardiac Step-Down Unit with a new machine as that unit was using the first Xboxes we ever donated to the hospital back in 2010 and which we refurbished last year. It was time for new machines!
This pic I posted to my Instagram gives you a good look at everyone. Notice the carts stretch to behind Luke. LOTS of stuff!
Elevator ride up! I look tired. Because of who I am as a person.
We are here with the JOY! Big smiles as carts and carts of goodies are rolled into a conference room.
Luke and Nancy thank the crew for not only their donations, but their willingness to help out.
Just as I pressed my shutter button on this picture, Luke is saying, “Hey, crazy lady holding her camera up in the air.” I’ll wear that shoe.
Grab an Xbox, find a room, off you go!
Isolation rooms mean we take extra precautions:
At one point, it looked like they even put the Root Sports cameraman to work.
My first stop was the playroom for the unit to check on the progress of installing the new 50-inch TV with an Xbox One and Kinect system. This is going to be great for the Cystic Fibrosis kids to get some exercise. Four patient rooms on the unit were also outfitted with Kinects.
Once that’s up, play time, and they tested it out by pitting the Pens against the Rangers:
I then headed to Tori’s room. She’s 16 and was pretty thrilled to hear we had the movie Megamind after she asked for it.
How are we doing on time?
Nancy pauses for an interview because she’s Nancy and that’s her job and not mine. Thank God.
I headed to Case’s room. He’s 3. If you watched any of the news coverage, you’ll see initially Case was lying in his bed, not sure what to make of the people in his room. But then … up and at ’em with Angry Birds!
Here you can see he has prepared his bird launch.
All the pigs on the first try even without full use of both hands!
That was it. We left him like this …
Mike and Meg Woycheck prepare to install an Xbox in a patient room. I would have a better picture but they literally ran away from me and my camera. The nerve.
Also donated by MR4K to this unit were five Surface Units preloaded with awesome games. These are especially good for children on the spectrum who need their gaming to be closer to their faces.
I forgot to take pictures of them, but we also gave this unit five portable DVD players, headphones for every room, scrapbooking machine and accessories, digital cameras with accessories, and SO MANY GAMES and movies! EA Sports also came through for a donation of their popular titles.
Here’s Nancy hunting down that Megamind movie she knew she had ordered.
LOTS OF GAMES AND MOVIES! This box is for the GI unit alone. We have boxes for every other unit too!
After all 23 beds in the GI unit were outfitted and the kids playing their games or watching their movies, we headed down one floor to the Cardiac Step Down Unit to replace their old MR4K Xboxes with brand new ones.
That’s where we met Myles. Gosh, Myles.
That picture is doing things to my heartfeels. Can you also feel it?
In addition to all that, every unit from past installs received new controllers, and dozens of new games and movies that were released since our last install. That includes the oncology kids, transplant kids, cardiac ICU kids, and more!
And we aren’t completely done with this year, because before fall, the oncology unit will have undergone an expansion to add six more inpatient beds for the cancer kids and thanks to Genre’s Kids with Cancer Fund, we already have the Xboxes to install once the construction is complete. I’ll keep you updated on when we get back in there to do that.
We also have updated games and movies to still deliver to the pediatric unit of AGH, which is also getting a snazzy rolling cart to store games in, and updated games and movies to send over to the Children’s Home and Lemieux Family Center.
It’s a lot, but we did it with your help.
I know we can get that number to 100% and make sure every kid who finds themselves admitted to Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh will have in-room gaming to distract them, entertain them, and comfort them.
I can’t thank you enough for all your donations, your sharing, your generosity, you willingness to find this project worthy of your hard-earned dollars. You are what makes Pittsburgh great and you are who is putting these smiles on these sick kids’ faces.
I hope you’ll join us next year as we press on toward that 100 percent.
Hug your kids and now hug me. Group hug!
Today is Twitter’s 10th birthday. I’m conflicted about that.
This post isn’t meant to be political because as I’ve written many times before, I’d sooner coat myself in pollen, cover myself in bees then fling myself into an active volcano than write about politics because when you write about politics, shit hits the fan in the most shitty fannest way it has ever shit fanned.
That’s a solid sentence. I’m not editing it.
So, listen, I’m not a fan of Donald Trump’s. Maybe you are and that’s cool. Keep reading. Or maybe you’ve hitched your wagon to another political candidate. That’s all good. Me? I’m a registered Republican (this election might change that) and I’m not too fond of Trump as a person, or at least of the person he has made himself out to be publicly. His “persona.” Not a fan.
And I don’t hide my dislike for him. Instead, I use humor to show my Twitter followers at times how I feel about him, because the only way I won’t lose my mind about politics and show up at places with tables just so I can flip those tables (watch out, Ikea), is to approach it with good humor. Laugh instead of scream. Chuckle instead of cry.
So after I saw a headline that started with “Donald Trump leading the movement …”, I stopped. I didn’t want to read any more about any movement he would lead. I tweeted this:
That is indeed a hilarious fire tweet. I can’t believe it didn’t get 7,000 RTs and a fave from Barack Obama himself. Anyway, that was weeks ago. On Saturday, a Burgher tweeted this at me:
Wow. First, a simple scroll down his timeline will show you he is indeed a Burgher, tweeting and following local accounts and local media peeps.
Second, after I called him out on Twitter for being such a giant racist doucheface, he deleted his tweet.
BUT THE INTERNET IS FOREVER AND I WAS SURE TO SCREENCAP THAT SHIT, YOU JAG.
Can you wrap your head around this? The racism? The immediate assumption that I must be hispanic and therefore must be illegal and therefore must have anchor babies (ugh) and YAY DONALD TRUMP IS SHIPPING YOU BACK IF HE WINS, YOU PUTA!
I was stunned. How assured must you be of your racism, how comfortable must you feel with the validity and righteousness of that racism that you find it perfectly okay to tweet that to me simply because I’m married to a Mexican?
Look, he can sit there on twitter and tweet hateful tweet after hateful tweet about large swaths of people, fine. But when you DIRECT your hate to a PERSON and you say it TO THEM, that’s hate speech. That’s not okay, regardless of what Twitter’s complete inaction on addressing people who use their service to spread vicious prejudice to anyone they choose would have you believe. That’s an awkward, convoluted sentence. I’m not editing it.
Now, you will say, he’s a troll. Ignore him. No. NO NO NO NO. I am not ignoring this hate any longer! I will blast it and write it and cut and paste it if by doing so I can stop JUST ONE ASSHOLE from thinking it is okay to speak this way simply because you’ve got a presidential candidate who has somehow emboldened you enough to spew your bile in anyone’s face you don’t like the color of. That is a terribly worded sentence. I’m not editing it.
This isn’t the first time I’ve gotten racial hate aimed at me DESPITE THE FACT THAT I WAS BORN IN PITTSBURGH. Many times people assume I am Mexican because I’m married to a Mexican. Usually those who say awful things to me on Twitter are professional trolls located throughout the world who are simply looking for attention. I ignore those people.
But this guy who I used Google Reverse Image search to make sure he didn’t grab his profile pic from somewhere else on the web?
He’s a BURGHER. I might see him in my restaurant. I might hold an elevator for him. I might pass him at a ball game. He might stand in line in Kennywood in front of my children. You might know him. You might work with him. YOU MIGHT EMPLOY HIM.
And he called my children, my innocent children who could never wrap their brains around this hate … ANCHOR BABIES. My mother yesterday said, “It’s so crazy! You’re as AMERICAN AS THEY COME.”
And I, two glasses of wine deep, said, “IT SHOULDN’T MATTER!”
So what if I’m American. So what if I wasn’t. So what if my husband is a naturalized citizen. IT. SHOULDN’T. MATTER.
Here’s another tweet by this user:
He calls every single man, woman and child trying to escape the violence and death and doom of Syria a RAPEFUGEE.
And again, he’s so assured, so confident, so comfortably racist that he has no problems showing the world. Remember before social media when racists sat on their porches and said their racist bullshit only to the unfortunate few who had the bad luck to find themselves sharing air with them? Gone are those days. These days, and it seems with Trump’s encouragement, racists are standing on their porches shooting their racist bullets into the air, whooping with glee for all to see and hear. They’re setting off firecrackers of hate. They’re dropping NUCLEAR BOMBS OF HATE.
As a good friend said, “What have we become?”
My brother-in-law, a legal permanent resident of the US and an immigrant from Mexico, recently wrote this on his Facebook page about an incident in Market Square on March 4:
Last night I opened the side door at Las Velas, maybe a little too fast, and almost hit a guy with the door as he was walking on the sidewalk. His first reaction was a strange look at me and said, “All you people are always sneaking out of everywhere!” I look at him like excuse me? Immediately he says, “That’s why I’m voting for Trump. I can’t wait for all of you people to go back to your country!” I was so mad but no words were coming out because I was so shocked. So I just smiled and his response was, “I can’t wait to wipe that smile off your face when you have to go back to your country,” and then walked away! In the 11 years that I have been living in the States, I have had a few racial issues, maybe once or twice before, but I have never seen someone looking at me with that much anger! I guess it’s something Mr Trump is causing out there! I don’t care if Trump wins to be honest, I just really hope Trump supporters get that anger out in a different way (like workout, running, etc) not insulting people that you don’t even know who are they or what they are! And please please please remember we are all humans.
This is what hispanics IN PITTSBURGH are dealing with. Right in our city. This upfront hate. This in-your-face “I AM BETTER THAN YOU BECAUSE OF THE COLOR OF MY SKIN AND I WILL TELL YOU TO YOUR FACE HOW INFERIOR YOU ARE AND HOW MUCH I HOPE YOU GET SENT BACK TO MEXICO WHEN TRUMP WINS” hate.
And his “always sneaking out of everywhere” line? What the hell does that even mean? Are all the Mexicans hiding behind doors and chairs and walls and jumping out at the non-Mexicans and screaming “SURPRISE!” and giving them all heart attacks?
These are the straws that have broken this camel’s back. I’m not staying quiet. I’m calling these jagoffs out now and I hope you’ll join me in exposing them.
It’s not okay and I’m sick of it.
It’s not okay for you to say things to people like this simply because you somehow have come to believe you had ANYTHING TO DO WITH WHAT THE HELL COLOR AND IN WHAT THE HELL COUNTRY YOU WERE BORN.
This public, proud, loud hate is not what Pittsburgh is about and I will be damned if I’ll let Donald Trump let ANY Burgher think this whitewashed version of our city is what Pittsburgh should BECOME. Or to think it’s perfectly fine to SPEAK TO OTHER HUMANS THIS WAY.
Ignoring racism is like walking away from embers smoking on a dry forest floor. We have to at least TRY to stomp it out here, not sit back or walk away or say, “Ignore it” and let the flames grow and grow until it takes over and does real, lasting damage.
Racist Pittsburghers should literally sit down at a computer and research their family history. What country and under what circumstances did your ancestors arrive here? What the hell language did they speak when their toes first touched American soil? Then all you effing racists email me and let me know if any of you can come back with, “100% of my ancestry can be traced to the Pilgrims and there is literally no other blood or color or ethnicity or language to be found anywhere in any part of my family tree so help me God.”
You can send that email to firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ll sit here with my “anchor babies” and wait for it with bated breath.
Stop being jagoffs. Stop believing the color of your skin has somehow elevated you above ANYONE. Start trying to nurture just one percent of Fred Rogers in your soul so that maybe, just maybe, when your head hits the pillow at night you’ll have a tiny bit of love in your heart for someone other than your awful awful self. And if you don’t want your face plastered on my blog, stop spreading your hate on Twitter.
And the rest of us, start letting racists know IT IS NOT OKAY AND YOU ARE SICK OF IT. Be loud. Be proud of inclusion. Be proud of equality. Be proud that YOU at least recognize that we are humans and for that reason, all deserve to be treated with respect. Don’t ignore, but rather stomp out any ember of racism you encounter in Pittsburgh the moment you see it flicker up.
I guess that got a bit political.
Anyone know where I can get a swarm of bees?
Can we talk about ridiculousness for a bit?
Can we just sit here and marvel at something ridiculous?
Let’s talk about the Post-Gazette, one of America’s great newspapers.
Do I want to talk about their ridiculous and attention-begging use of unnecessary gifs on their Twitter account as of late?
No. But it’s pretty ridiculous.
Do I want to talk about this Ask Natalie column in which a mother-of-the-groom wrote Natalie to tell her how aghast she was that a few of her son’s friends didn’t bring gifts to the wedding and how she CALLED THEM ON THE PHONE TO ASK WHERE THEIR GIFTS WERE, and how Natalie’s response was not to read this woman the riot act, but to not even mention the uncouthness of calling, and to instead tell the woman to not invite those people to the next son’s wedding and also to PUT THE GIFT REGISTRY INFORMATION ON THE ACTUAL WEDDING INVITATION WHICH WOULD MAKE EMILY POST LOSE ALL OF HER GENTLEWOMANLY SHIT AND WHY ARE THERE STILL ADVICE COLUMNS IN 2016 WHEN A SIMPLE INTERNET SEARCH WILL TELL YOU WHAT A HUGE YINZER JAGOFF YOU WERE TO CALL THESE POOR WEDDING GUESTS WHO MIGHT ACTUALLY BE LITERALLY POOR?!
No. But it’s pretty pretty damnity damned ridiculous and also, I would be the best advice columnist to ever live.
[long-winded question about a life problem]
“STOP WHINING. GOD. LITERALLY NO ONE CARES.”
Let’s instead talk about … this.
What? Is this.
I mean … what is this?
I mean … WHAT THE FLIPPITY FLIP IS HAPPENING IS THIS REAL LIFE WHAT IS THIS HOLD ME CLOSER TONY DANZA.
I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. Let me walk you through this ridiculousness, friends, because it has been a long time since I morphed into Super Snarks-a-lot Girl just because something was so ridiculous I couldn’t ignore it.
1. This is an “advertorial” (You won’t know it’s an advertorial unless you look near the top where it is indicated. Otherwise, it just seems like a normal regular Post-Gazette column.) in which a Pittsburgh writer, Sydney Carver, (who I’m sure is a lovely human but if you’re going to write something this ridiculous, I have to snark on it), is going to walk us through the proper way to throw a Pittsburgh-Perfect Dinner Party.
I know what you’re thinking. That’s easy. Make a tray of lasagna with some garlic bread and a salad and throw a bottle of red wine on the table. Boom. Dinner. Party.
Oh, no. How mistaken you are, you low-class lasagna-serving mortal who probably serves wine in juice glasses and serves dinner on the “fancy” paper Chinet.
2. If you’re going to throw a proper Pittsburgh-perfect dinner party, you need to spend a day shopping and if you’re going to do that, you better dress well!
I am headed out to prep for my own dinner party, so I’ll take you along to illustrate how I prepare. First thing’s first: When running all over Pittsburgh, comfort is key. I opt for dark-wash skinny jeans, a cashmere cable knit sweater, Chanel flats, and a Barbour jacket. I always make sure to bring some extra canvas L.L. Bean totes so that everything makes it home in one piece!
She wants you to shop in a cashmere cable knit sweater, $600 Chanel flats and a Barbour jacket. Got it? Don’t do what I do which is show up at the grocery store looking like an actual whale recently spit me out onto shore where a flock of seagulls landed on my head and had a dance party. And don’t you dare use the store’s bags. And you better not show up with some Target or Walmart-branded reusable totes. No, you better get those L.L. Bean totes or GTFOH.
Or rather, she recommends this bag:
Yeah, you are to lug that shiz around with you as you hit all the shops in your fancy cashmere clothes. And since when the actual hell are skinny jeans comfortable? They are the opposite of comfortable. They are the most uncomfortable pants you can buy.
2. Moving on! You’re dressed in your most expensive outfit and carrying a luggage-sized tote. Time to shop for our Pittsburgh dinner party!
The first thing you do, according to this column, THE FIRST THING YOU DO, losers, is you go…
Are you ready?
Wait for it.
I didn’t just misspell champagne (I’ll never misspell that word thanks to Patch from Days of Our Lives who pronounced is CHAM-PAG-NEE).
One of the easiest ways to escalate your space as well as add some dim, romantic lighting to any room is by opting for a gorgeous chandelier, and Cardello has many different options for all different tastes and budgets. I opt for a classic crystal chandelier that is sure to set the tone for the night: romantic elegance!
The first thing you must do if you wish to throw a Pittsburgh-perfect dinner party is you have to buy yourself a new chandelier because if you don’t have new, expensive dining room lighting and instead just serve your slop under some $200 Home Depot-bought five-light fixture, you are a terrible dinner party hostess who doesn’t care about the romantic and aesthetically pleasing warm light that will erase the wrinkles from the faces of your guests.
So, you go buy a new chandelier. Got it? This is the one she bought, so you should too:
It will only cost you $1,560.
Then AFTER you have bought a new chandelier and have loaded that sucker in your car, you can head to your next stop for the Pittsburgh-perfect dinner party …
2. You need to stop and get some diptyque figuier candles!
As I make my way from the North Shore to Shadyside … I arrive at Toadflax in Shadyside where I pick up several diptyque figuier candles. Scent is one of the easiest ways to change a person’s mood, so if you light the same scent every time your guests are in your home, they’ll remember it as your signature scent! I also spot some great accents for my blue-and-white-themed tablescape that I grab before I check out.
I don’t even know what diptyque or figuier means. Do you? Why don’t we? We suck, that’s why. We don’t use candles for our dinner parties, or if we do, we probably bought them at Target or Dollar General.
As for “signature scent.” Guests in my home know that as “Lemon Pledge with hint of Doggy Breath.”
Guys, I Googled it. These candles START at $60 each and run up to $90. FOR A CANDLE.
HAHAHAHAHA. NINETY DOLLARS FOR SOMETHING I’M GOING TO LIGHT ON FIRE?! How about I just throw a hundred-dollar bill in the fireplace and my signature scent can be “CRAZY PILLS AFLAME”?
After you’ve gotten your dippy candles (that’s what I’m calling ’em now), you must …
3. GET A NEW PAIR OF SHOES!
Now we’re talking. I love any excuse to buy new shoes … except …
Next up on my list is to snag a new pair of shoes! … I eye a gorgeous pair of Jimmy Choo’s and know that I’ve found the one. A classic, neutral heel will be sure to elongate my legs and pair well with any dress I decide to wear.
JIMMY. CHOOS. To wear with the dress you’ll wear at your dinner party at your house?
Ell. Oh. Ell.
My dinner party attire? Clean jeans, a sweater I snagged at Marshalls, and socks. If you think I’m stomping around my own house serving my guests romantically lit food underneath a new chandelier while wearing 700-dollar stiletto heels and a damned dress, you are smoking some special-sauced crack.
So you’ve got a car full of chandelier, dippy candles, and Jimmy Choos. You’ve only spent $3,000 so far. Next up.
4. Prantl’s for some burnt almond torte.
I have no complaints. This is for sure a perfect suggestion.
Throw that cake in your car and pray the giant chandelier doesn’t smush it because this is the first thing you’ve bought that is actually worth the money you’ve spent on it.
Then head to …
5. Buy some fresh flowers!
Not a terrible idea. Easy to grab a few fresh bouquets from Trader Joes, right?
I plan to place the floral arrangement in blue-and-white Chinoiserie ginger jars of varying sizes down the middle of the table. Usually when choosing a color scheme, I pick one or two colors and then an accent color; in this case, my primary colors are blue and white with gold as an accent.
WHAT THE FRESH HELL ARE CHINOISERIE GINGER JARS? IS SHE JUST MAKING SHIT UP NOW?
Okay, I Googled it. They are like $250 each!
Anyway, toss in your car the flowers she recommends you buy, along with the additional fresh blooms to place in your bathrooms, as she recommends, and then …
6. You got to go rent some fancy china!
The Kingston setting pairs nicely with a gold beaded charger, and I complete my table setting with the Schott Zwiesel Pure stemware glassware collection. The juxtaposition of the classic china against the more modern stemware is fantastic and adds dimension to the table.
I know what most of those words mean by themselves, but put together in this paragraph, I’m lost.
“Adds dimension to the table”?
I just Googled that to see if that’s a real thing and IT IS TOTALLY NOT. She is Barney Stinson-ing us into believing we can add “dimension” to our table setting by using “juxtaposition” of classic and modern tableware and stemware.
If a friend walked in my house, looked at my set table and said, “Wow, this juxtaposition really adds dimension to your tablescape,” that person would no longer be my friend because GTFOH and someone open a beer for me gawd.
7. Time to buy a dress!
I stroll down the street to No. 14 Boutique, which may be the chicest boutique in Pittsburgh. After previewing a few of the amazing pieces that they have in stock on Snapchat (No_14lville), I knew they would have the perfect hostess dress for me!
Yes! Head to a pricey boutique to find the perfect dress to wear with your 700-dollar shoes to host a dinner party for a few friends at your home where they’ll pee and poop while inhaling the scent of fresh flowers, eat while inhaling your signature scent wafting from 90-dollar candles, be surrounded by blooms in 300-dollar ginger jars, be served by you in your Jimmy Choos while wearing your new pricey fancy party dress after you’ve changed out of your pricey fancy party-shopping clothes, and dine on your fancy rented china on a dimensional tablescape of juxtapositions under your new fifteen-hundred-dollar chandelier that you bought just because you were throwing a “Pittsburgh-perfect” dinner party.
“Honey, I’m going to get started on cooking dinner for our friends. Can you go hang the new $1,500 chandelier I bought so I can set the table?” is a thing I would say that would 100% appear on the divorce papers my husband would file against me before the fresh blooms sucked in a millimeter of Chinoiserie ginger jarred water.
8. Finally …
Finally, our adventure has ended … is there time for a quick nap before the guests arrive?
DIDN’T BUY ANY DAMN FOOD FOR DINNER.
Maybe the 90-dollar dippy candles are vegan?
Did you smile at this ridiculousness? You know who could use a smile? The kids at Children’s Hospital. I’ve put up this year’s Make Room for Kids Amazon Wish List of the games and movies the kids in previously installed units need. These are for the cancer kids, transplant kids, heart kids, etc. We want to give them updated games and movies, so please pitch in and buy them one! All items will be shipped directly from Amazon to the Mario Lemieux Foundation in preparation for Make Room for Kids install in April. Thank you and group hug!
Dave DiCello is the Linda Barnicott of photography, basically.
If you understood that sentence, congratulations! You’re a Burgher.
Regardless of where you live in the world, if you’re a Burgher, I can pretty much guarantee you’ve liked, hearted, thumbsed up, shared, retweeted, regrammed one of his photos; they are THAT popular.
You remember last year Dave donated his sales over a span of days to Make Room for Kids and that turned out to be a $1,000 donation. He wanted to do the same this year, so he PROACTIVELY donated the $1,000 before he even raised it, meaning he gave $1,000 of his own money to the total.
In addition to his $1,000 donation, he donated these two huge metal prints for me to give to two of you!
Let’s have another giveaway!
What: A 20×30 metal print of a rainbow over Pittsburgh…
And a 16×30 metal print of the Point from the Gateway Clipper…
To win: Donate and you are automatically entered to win! No, you don’t have to. You can comment on this post and you will be entered to win the prints, but if you can spare five dollars or so to donate to Make Room for Kids, I promise we will use the money. We have so many units to outfit, and they have lots of requests. We aren’t always able to fulfill every request, but each extra dollar helps us fulfill more and more. If you already donated, you are also entered to win this prize in addition to the Billy Joel tickets; you don’t have to comment or donate again. Dave and I will make arrangements to get the winners their prizes.
Random.org will choose the winning comment/donation number this Friday at the same time it pulls the Billy Joel ticket winner.
Good luck, let’s help sick kids have diversion from their diseases, and group hug.