Category Archives: Sonni Abatta

Random n’at.

1.  The winner of the two tickets to the Lights! Glamour! Action! event was comment #179 belonging to PghScienceNerd.

She has already responded to my email to claim the tickets.

2.  I understand the standing ovation for Ryan Miller last night. I really do.  In fact, hey, Ryan Miller? [BEWBS!]

But I will never understand any portion of our hometown crowd booing Sidney Crosby for winning a gold medal for his home country.

I bet deep down, Sid never expected to hear himself booed in Mellon Arena.

3.  Las Velas stuff.  First, today Las Velas is the Deal of the Day over at Groupon.  You can buy a $50 gift certificate for only $25.  Woo!

Second, I’ll be tending bar (with professional help) this Friday for Mariachi Night.  The reason I’ll be behind the bar is two-fold.  On one hand, it makes it easier for people to find me that might want to chitchat with me.  Last Mariachi Night, there were a lot of people I never got to talk to and didn’t realize they were there until the next day when they emailed me all, “I was there last night!”  COME TALK TO ME, DAMN IT! Also, I’m going to put a little tip jar out and all tips you put in there for me, I’ll donate to Make Room for Kids.  Maybe I’ll make enough for an extra DS or PSP!

Third, Las Velas will be open for the St. Patrick’s Day parade on March 13 starting at 8:00 a.m. for Mexican breakfast (CHILAQUILES!) and then also serving lunch with Irish tacos and Irish burritos.  I’ll be there for that too because I promised the husband I would lend him a hand that day.  You know.  ACTUALLY WORKING.  I bet he fires me before the day is over.

4.  Watch The Kraken shove a female fan (NOT PAPARAZZI) to the ground after the Olympics:

YouTube Preview Image

And they say chivalry is dead.

5.  Health officials in Vancouver supplied about 14 condoms per Olympic athlete and STILL had to have an emergency 8,500 additional condoms shipped to the Games in order to satisfy the demands of the Olympic sexcapades.

Related, upon hearing this news, Jeff Reed took up curling lessons.

(h/t Erica)

6.  A local woman had a decade-long pen-pal friendship with none other than J.D. Salinger.

So, here’s something I’m ashamed to admit.  I’ve read A LOT of books.  I read probably 40 books a year.  I took countless literature courses in high school and college.  I have never read Catcher in the Rye.

I’m going to change that starting this weekend.

7.  The Post-Gazette’s Bill Toland is a swell guy.  I can say that because I’ve met him in real life.  And he was swell.  He’s shaving his thick hair off for St. Baldrick’s day too, so if you haven’t yet donated to the cause, you can go to his page and do that.  He’s got a ways to go toward his $3,000 goal.  IT’S FOR SICK KIDS!

8.  Reader Tico found former KDKA news hottie Sonni Abatta’s doppleganger, Olympian Tanith Belbin.

HELL of a resemblance, I think.

9.  Finally, let’s have a look at some Facebook groups you can join!

Somewhere, Jeff Reed’s ears just perked up all, “Did someone say suck and blow?”

Gosh, I’ve been picking on Skippy a lot over these last two days.  I’m going to be nice to him for the rest of this week.





Random n’at.

1. Monday. Night. Football!

Let’s hope the stretching cheerleaders don’t mess The Duke up too much.

2.  Hines Ward reportedly texted Ocho Cinco to ask him to tell Keith Rivers he’s sorry he broke his jaw, which by the way is broke in two places and will remain wired shut for another seven weeks.  Holy crap.

“Srry.  Srsly.” is what I imagine the text said.

Stay classy, Hines.

3.  Only 29% of sports fans and only 18% of the general population recognize the name and face of Sidney Crosby.

Really?!

He needs to start kicking sick puppies or something to get those numbers up.  Everybody remembers a guy who kicks sick puppies, am I right?

4.  Cooper Luke Ravenstahl and Paisios Polamalu (don’t call him pee-pee on the playground or his dad will tackle you) were born on Halloween.

5.  Troysus will play today.  Hallelujah for Paisios being so accommodating and getting himself born before the game.

6.  Tomorrow is voting day.  Vote Choke-a-Bitchocrat!

7.  Steely McBeam has his own children’s book called “Here We Go, Steelers!  Here We Go.”  I didn’t just make that up.

(h/t LB)

7.  Sonni Abatta as Britney Spears:

Don’t you boys ever say that I don’t do anything nice for you.  You can practically see a sliver of her inside boob there.

You’re welcome.

Lots more pictures here including Sally Wiggin as Medusa and Alison Morris as Sarah Palin.  UPDATE:  Warning.  That link will also cause you to see Big Bob dressed as Michael Phelps but it looks like he’s dressed as Michael Phelps if Michael Phelps’ crotch ate Troy Polamalu.   There you go.

(h/t Bob)

8.  An email:

Do you remember those goofy Halloween costumes in the 70’s where they gave you an inflatable thing, like a jackolantern or cat, and you tied them on your head?  I think they also gave you makeup and maybe a cape?  It is driving me crazy because I can’t remember what they were called.  You may be too young to remember, but I thought I would give it a shot.

Readers?

9.  The Mon Incline was not working over the weekend due to “computer issues.”

And by “computer issues” they mean “the monkeys that turn the wheels for free bananas both got sick, but they’re back at work today, thank God.”

Computer issues.  Right.  My stapler is more likely to get computer issues than the Mon Incline is.





Random n’at.

1. Reader Vanessa wrote me:

I have a question I hope you can address on the blog, since you have mentioned it in passing before. What is the deal with the Post-Gazette website taking a MILLION years to load even a simple article? I have looked for a place to complain about it on the site but found none (probably because I gave up waiting for anything even close to launch…

Maybe publicly shaming the P-G via your blog can help? I hope so.

I have already indicated as much not too long ago, but yeah, WTF is up with the P-G site anymore?  All the slowness and the downtime.  It’s acting like The Burgh Blog.

Ba-ba. BAH!

2.  The Church of Kinky Sexy Times has been determined to be a business and can no longer operate out of a house in a residential area of Westmoreland County.

Somewhere, Jeff Skippy Skeeve Reed is very sadcakes.

3.  He’ll be okay though because he can go to Adams where a woman sued and has now been granted permission to open her pole dancing/stripper exercise club.

You won’t ever find PittGirl there, not only because I don’t wish to ever bump into Skippy Skeeve again, but also because if my abilities at yoga are any indication, me using a stripper pole will look about as sexy as scurvy.

4.  Sonni Abatta, the Firefighter. Hawt.

5.  Some What The Effies for you:

  • She says, “I game with my great friends (LARP – basically theatrical improv).”  Theatrical improv?  Well, THANK YOU, lady for giving me an excuse to post another great LARP picture from Bifford The Youngest:

Lighting bolt!  Lightning bolt!  Lightning bolt! That will never get old.

Also, she needs to give this guy a holler.  They can LARP their wedding.  I will be the officiator and I’ll say it like this, “Mawidge!  Mawidge is what bwings us togewah today.  WUV!  Twu wuv …”  It will be awesome.  Then we’ll all storm the castle.

  • Careful ladies, Skippy is on the prowl for some new sluts.
  • Oh, where to start? Do I start with “I do have the requisite floggers/whips and paddles” or do I start with “If you’re reading this and think I’m sadistic and like to degrade people, you’re right”?  Nah.  I’ll start with this keyword he put in the bottom for “maximum searchability”:  forced sex. That’s charming.  Actually, read his whole last paragraph of keywords because I think when you get to the last three words you’re going to just hit the floor laughing.
  • He doesn’t want people just looking at the pics and then hitting him up.  Can I just once please use this overused expression?  Just once?  ROTFLMAO!

6.  Ken Rice knows a thing or two about comedic timing.  Just watch the first few seconds of this video.

Love.





Search like it’s 2001.

In honor of their 10th Birthday, Google brought out their oldest available index. 2001.

It is super fun to search.

1.  For instance, did you know we have Jim Leyland to thank for bringing Dread Lord Zober to the Burgh?

University of Pittsburgh student Yarone Zober sat aghast, and stared dumbfoundly while watching the “late-breaking” story unfold on his television: Jim Leyland, Pittsburgh Pirates coach has decided to leave the team at season’s end, after a total of 11 seasons. “I couldn’t believe it. My little brother and I are probably the Bucs’ number one fans. He’s the sole reason why our family moved here to Pittsburgh 10 years ago in the first place”, said Yarone, while watching Leyland fight back tears during the televised event.

2.  Sonni Abatta ran cross country for CMU and listed her hometown as McKees Rocks. Now she lists herself as a lifelong resident of Robinson Township.  Is that like calling the Hill District Westhampsminstershire?

UPDATE:

Dear PeeGee,

I did grow up in Robinson Township, but the mailing address is McKees Rocks.  (It’s the closest post office.)  I suspect when CMU culled records for the cross country roster they just listed what was on the transcript.

My parents are from the Rocks, though, so I have tons of family there still.  Nothin’ but love for both towns.

Representin’,
Sonni

Darn it.  I really wanted to have Woy send her the McKees Rocks Dance Academy shirt.

3.  Jeff Reed before he was Skippy Skeeve:

And Troy Polamalu before he was Troysus:

Hee.

4.  In 1999, Matt Lamanna was worried about his future.

Common or not, the nomenclature did not thrill Matt Lamanna of the University of Pennsylvania, who is going to help prepare the fossil. He told the Philadelphia Inquirer, “There is no way my scientific career is going to be associated with an animal called the urinator.”

How about The Defecator?  Would you be okay with The Defecator, Matt?

5.  Kordell Stewart was keeping up with his daily diary.

“Dear Diary, WTF are these things growing out of my neck?”

6.  The lucky residents of the City of Pittsburgh made do before Mayor Ravenstahl’s 311 Response Line by Asking Smithfield. Yes, Smithfield!

Is that supposed to be Andy Warhol as a teenager?

7.  Here’s an article I’m pretty sure Alison Morris wrote for the Yale Herald.  Or is THIS our Alison Morris?  I can’t tell.

8.  The Asshat lost a friend.

9.  Wendy Bell was a consumer reporter who had hair that was very Ellen and she only had one child at the time.

10.  And Kevin McClatchy wrote a nice little write up for the Pirates Report in which he defends Kevin Young’s performance and also says:

I said, in the beginning of the year, that I didn’t feel anybody was going to run away with this division, and I still believe that. Just as I say that, as we look at our division, I see we are 5.5 games out of first place as of (June 6). There is no way I would say we are in a bad position right now.

The fact we know we can play better, and that we are 5.5 games back, is actually a positive thing. So I look forward to better things as the season goes on, and I feel we will be competitive when it is all said and done.

Join me please?

(h/t Allison via Plurk)





Dear PETA,

You guys are all total lameasses, you know that?

You tell us there will be naked women in Market Square, you tell us they will be HOT women, and you tell us some crap about meat is bad.  Boo meat!  Eat veggies!  Don’t wear fur!  Don’t shave your armpit hair! Or whatever the hell it is you’re getting naked for on that day.

Look at all these people coming down to Market Square to take pictures of what they were told would be butts and boobies.

No butts. No boobies.  Girls behind a screen.

I’m not saying I necessarily want you to flash the patrons of Market Square, because I don’t think the kiddies need to see that.

I’m saying stop issuing press releases claiming that there will be nakedness because guess what? Being covered up does not equal naked.  Otherwise, every single one of us wearing clothes right this second is actually naked.

OMG.  Look!  There’s Sonni Abatta on TV.  She’s naked!  Totally naked underneath her clothes!

Gawd.