Random n’at

1.  Some ways I’ve recently discovered that I must be a great mom:

My toddler daughter runs screaming from the room when Yo Gabba Gabba comes on.
She has taken a sudden interest in my collection of Calvin and Hobbes books.
She knows almost all the words to “My Life Would Suck Without You” and “Don’t Rain on [...]

Ponx-soo-TWAY-nee

One of the most fun things about being married to a man whose first language is not English is when the laws of Spanish pronunciation bitchslap the laws of English pronunciation.
Particularly early on in our marriage when his English, a language he completely self-taught, wasn’t as smooth as it now is, I got great giggles [...]

I wipe my ass with your measly fifties.

The Duke of Fug and the Earl of Gross made Page Six!
PITTSBURGH Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger doesn’t want a handout from anyone — even a cute girl. Friday night, he was waiting for his car with a few teammates outside Chicago’s Underground club when a woman who onlookers said “had no idea who [...]

Punxsutawney Troysus

THIS IS THE BEST THING I’VE SEEN SINCE THE TURTLE ATE THE PIGEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111

If you’ve never seen the turtle that ate the pigeon, then prepare yourself for an orgasm:

Need a cigarette?
(h/t Big Bob over at 96.1)

I refuse.

I refuse, do you hear me, Earthlings?  I refuse to believe that People of Walmart is real. I have too much faith in humanity to believe there exist a people that don’t know that you don’t go out in public with your back boobs hanging out of spandex.  That you don’t go out in public [...]