That's Church » Steelers

Random n’at

Virginia — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 14:50:55 +0000

1. Last night, I did drills with the Munhall Volunteer Fire Station #4 and I will be writing more about that experience for Pittsburgh Magazine, but in the meantime, here’s me using … THE JAWS OF LIFE … to help remove a car door.

I can’t wait to share more pictures with you and the story of some of Pittsburgh’s unsung heroes.

For now, go donate a few bucks to your local volunteer fire department, will ya?

2. Here’s Troysus’ new Head n’ Shoulders commercial. Hilarious. It also gives you an idea of what happens to my hair on a humid day.

Click here to view the embedded video.

3. City of Asylum/Pittsburgh on the North Side, which provides sanctuary for exiled writers from other countries, will be hosting a free Jazz Poetry Concert on Sampsonia Way on September 11 from 7:30 to 9:30 p.m.

There will have 17 jazz musicians, including Oliver Lake and 5 poets, including Yusef Komuyakaa, from around the world. There is a free dance party afterwards with DJ Soy Sauce.

But the best part, for me at least? The event’s host?

[angels singing]

4. Where has Burgher Jim Shearer been all my life?! He wasn’t even on my radar and then reader Jay wrote me all, “PLEASE CHECK HIM OUT!” and I did and I watched his Preseason Show and watched him iron his Terrible Towel and watched him trying to explain to children why Ben Roethlisberger got suspended and I fell in love with him.

And who knew he was an MTV2 VJ and the host of VH1 Countdown!?

Check out past episodes of Yinz Luv Da Stillers and Yinz Luv Da Guins on YouTube. I particularly loved him on the psychiatrist’s couch after Sid scored the gold medal goal.

I’m a fan now.

One question. Where is Yinz Luv Da Buccos?

LOL. That would be the most depressing show ever. I’d shoot myself in the face if I was host of a show called Yinz Luv Da Buccos.

5. Burgher Justin Kownacki is preparing to launch a new web-series, this a spin off from his previous series Something to be Desired. You can support Justin over at Kickstarter where you’ll learn more about the new show, Baristas, and how by donating to the launch, you can earn votes on casting the show or even have a show character named after you.

Check it out! He’s promising “more chicks!”

6. Pigeons killed a guy. NO REALLY. THEY KILLED A GUY.

(h/t Carole)

Chaka Khan called …

Virginia — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 16:48:17 +0000

News hit yesterday that Troysus Polamalu’s head of divine hair was insured for $1 million by Head and Shoulders.

“It’s like J.Lo’s insured butt!” he jokes.

Troysus Polamalu uttered the words “J.Lo’s insured butt” to the media?! I’m having trouble believing this.

I’m also having trouble coming to terms with this:

Taking 45 minutes pregame to care for his hair has become a ritual for the all-pro safety, who explains, “It’s correlated to what a warrior in the past would do to prepare for war. You have the Mongolians, the Japanese Samurai, the Spartans–all of these warriors with long hair…and in that way you can almost get into the mind-way, preparing for some type of battle when you are doing your hair.”

Hmm. I could use this. Instead of saying to my waiting husband, “Just give me 30 minutes to do my hair,” which would result in an eye-roll, I will say, “Just give me 30 minutes TO PREPARE FOR WAR [awkward samurai warrior sword moves].”

Also, now that Troysus’ locks are insured, I’m thinking there are some other things in Pittsburgh that need to be insured, like Julie Bologna’s entire wardrobe. Because what would we do without the pizazz, the sparkle, the zing, the flair, the SWEET BABY JESUS I AM BLIND? Like Jeff Jimerson’s vocal chords, Daniel Sepulveda’s ENTIRE PERSON, and Max Talbot’s pointer finger.

For the shushing.

Also, the Steelers might want to wise up and insure Steely McBeam’s life, because I totally plan to take it.

Random n’at

Virginia — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 14:08:09 +0000

1. Saturday.

Son: “Mom, I have horrible news.”

Me: “What?”

Son: “It’s raining in the living room.”

I guess no mother gets through the child-rearing years without living room rain brought on by a toddler having fun overflowing an upstairs sink, right?

How was YOUR weekend?

2. Why I could never be employed by a newspaper. I’d have to write reviews that say things like this:

From the moment we first hear his booming voice, which reverberated throughout the Benedum, to the moment he disappears, he is simultaneously repulsive and alluring.

Instead of how I wanted to and did say it:

But then, near the end, there was the Phantom, desperate, no mask, scarred, a few random hairs poking out of his bald head, grotesque, singing his heart out, surrounding me with music, and I fell back in love with the psycho murderous freak of nature and switched teams. EFF RAOUL. RAOUL DOESN’T SURROUND ME WITH MUSIC.

3. I finally met Randy Baumann in person at the Meet Tassy event at the Priory last week. Looky!

Looky at Sally Wiggin, too!

And looky at my stupid glasses.

Cannot wait until this whole “contact overwear” business that my optometrist totally made up is done with and I can go back to my contact lens worship.

Also, that photo was taken with Randy’s iPhone camera and then he handed me his phone so that I could type in my email address to email it to myself.

I also typed in the subject and message.

I bet Randy never makes that mistake again.

4. Jeff Reed in contention as the best NFL player to EVER wear the number 3.

The mind. It boggles.

(h/t Terry)

5. Ladies, the owners of Fun Party Stores launched an actual club you can join as a fan of the Steelers! Black n Gold Girls!

It includes meetups and member discounts as well as apparel. What an idea!

I hope the membership card is a shirtless picture of Tyler Grisham.

6. DID YOU SEE HIS CATCH LAST NIGHT?! He better make the damn team or I will have rage unseen since they cut Jeremy Bloom.

7. The stupidest site in all of the Internet, until www.cockroachauction.com goes live.

(h/t KGC)

8. John Fetterman was invited back to the Colbert Report in an episode that aired last week.

Here’s the video!

(h/t Jo)

9. Finally, I found this site via BoringPittsburgh and boy do they have some seriously awesome merchandise!

Which is true. Did you see his hit on Kyle Orton yesterday? Boom goes the dynamite.

Gerbil vs. Puma vs. Cheetah

Virginia — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 13:15:17 +0000

So, can we talk about Daniel Sepulveda (STEP OFF!) for a minute?

First, I’d like to pause for a moment so we can all think about how hot Daniel Sepulveda is.

[sigh]

Let’s give it another minute.

[smolder]

And another.

[swoon]

Remember this post from last year when Skippy Skeeve displayed how a gerbil PRETENDS to want to catch a puma when in fact the gerbil is AVOIDING the puma?

Here are the pictures of Jeff Reed (the gerbil) “tackling” the puma:

In that post, I said this:

So, reader carpetbagger has an idea and that is this, why doesn’t Daniel Sepulvedanomnom kick off?

Can you guys answer that for me? Is a punter incapable/not allowed to handle kickoffs?

Anything would be better than this sexed-up gerbil, considering how dismal our special teams are at not letting the runner get as far as the kicker.

Well, wish granted, Burghers, because in case you haven’t noticed, Coach Tomlin has given Daniel Sepulveda a crack at being a kickoff kicker and not just a punter.

And here we have a cheetah taking down a puma.

Mmmrowr.

Did you guys see that tackle live? Did you see Daniel shake off that Giant like it was a fly on his shoulder? Did you lick your television screen?!

Dear Coach Tomlin, please put the sex-crazed gerbil in its little spinny wheel and unleash the cheetah.

Did I say “mmrowr” yet? Mmmrowr.

Spotted in Atlanta by my sister.

Virginia — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 19:43:26 +0000

That is love.

Also, am I the only one who sees John Lennon in the one headlight? Anyone? Anyone? Zober?

(h/t Tina Fey)