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Better than PittGirl

Those cuties over at the Carbolic Smoke Ball have obviously been hitting the funny sauce, because while hilarity usually ensues over there, a few recent posts are hilarious to the power of eleventy.

1.  In case you need to eat Fido

2.  The Chief of Making Shit Up (it’s a thing!) continues to make shit up.

3.  Terror at KDKA

Lucky ass rodent.

Seeing as I’m tired of being cold (and the fact that this has been a relatively mild winter, you understand how much of a sissy I am), and seeing as it’s going to be in the negative digits this weekend, and seeing as I’m not heading to Cancun until August this year, this warms the icicles off of my heart:

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Also, lucky ass rodent, because I was fully prepared to write a post that we should be allowed to shoot the fat bastard if he predicted six more weeks of winter.

Also, Don Schwenneker of WTAE spent this morning broadcasting live from Punxy while wearing a ridiculous groundhog hat. The Schwenneker plus groundhog hat? Awesome.

And finally on the weather, if Demetrius Ivory does not cease referring to negative digits as “chilly” I’m going to flip. Chilly is like maybe 50 degrees. Minus 2 degrees is “Godhelpmemyeyebrowsjustfelloff.”

The PG hates Rick Santorum

So Rick Santorum, or as lots of people like to call him, The Devil, finally decided what he will do with his life post-Senate …

Former U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum has joined a conservative Washington think tank where he will found and direct a program called “America’s Enemies.”

Does the PG entitle that article with a headline like, “Santorum joins conservative think tank”?

Hells, no.

They go with this:

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Which is hilarious because it basically sounds like Santorum is going to sit in a room and think about all the people in the whole wide world who hate his guts.

But, you know, the PG isn’t biased or anything.


Dudes. Sorry about that. Server was down. Lost some posts. Fixed most of them. My latest “What they’re really thinking” was not recovered so I’ll work on rewriting that one.  While I’m doing that, go check out this adorable video that reader Heather sent to me.
More later.

Dear WQED,



All right, I’ll admit it. This year’s Pittsburgh Magazine 25 Most Beautiful People contains a lot less abject fug than last year’s dismal, barf-inducing edition.

While I’m throughly annoyed that Wendy Bell, Matt Lamanna, David Conrad, Bruce Gradkowski, or Troy Polamalu were not selected, I’m not gagging at the faces I’m seeing. Way to finally get in touch with your superficial selves and actually put pretty decent people in the magazine.

1. You get extra kudos for showing me how smokin’ hot Verron Hayes is. And you get extra kisses for putting him shirtless on the cover. Hello!

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2. If anyone had to take the obligatory newscaster slot from Wendy Bell, I’m cool with it being Darieth.

3. Susie? From Road Rules? Just no.

4. If anyone is going to use the words “spiritually beautiful person” in her profile and not sound like an oddball saying it, you know it is going to be the wife of Troysus Polamalu. Troy is a lucky boy and she is quite possibly the luckiest lady on the planet.

5. Anthony Henderson’s facial hair skeeves me out.

6. There isn’t a straight man in the Burgh that isn’t going to be completely in love and turned on by Lance Corporal Kristyn Stewart. Beautiful AND she can kick ass? All right, I’ll say it for them. Yum!

7. I’ve never heard of Patrick Jordan.

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However, with the hot looks and the Burgh love, I gotta think he needs to be me and David Conrad’s friend too. We’d be like the hottest trio to ever hit Starbucks. Time would stop.

8. I’m not even going to mention Peggy Harris or her hat. Ay.

9. I’m on record that Corey O’Connor has the potential to be hot. Way to take that potential and squash it like a little bug. Fug picture and I can’t help but notice the blatant lack of hair product. Oy.

10. A big thank you for not including any of the following: Luke Ravenstahl, Ben Roethlisberger, Yarone Zober, Jeff Reed (gag), Evgeni Malkin, or Sally Wiggin (I wouldn’t put it past you).

Overall, well played, WQED.