That's Church » Daniel Sepulveda

A little something for everyone!

Virginia — Wed, 19 May 2010 16:51:07 +0000

Not to turn my site into a showcase of Hot Burghers, but well, when hot pictures of hot Burghers land in your lap, you lick them.

I mean, you POST them.

First, I have to name her the next official Smokin’ Hot Burgher, not only because she’s super hot, but because having met her (she’s famous and she sat through me and Mike’s ENTIRE presentation at PodCamp. Love that girl!), she’s super nice and she still cares deeply for Pittsburgh. iJustine!

There are eight more super hot photos of her here. Again, I cannot reiterate enough that she is as equally smart as she is nice and smoking hot. Very rare combination in a human being.

Also, she loves cheeseburgers and that makes me hate her a little bit for that body.

If I want to eat a cheeseburger, I might as well just duct tape the thing to my thighs. Same difference.

Next up!

These are photos of my self-united husband (STEP OFF, BITCHES!) Daniel Sepulveda at an event for Best Buddies, a program that creates one on one friendships for students and adults with intellectual disabilities and their peers. The event was in support of a campaign called, “Spread the Word to End the Word.” The R word that is. I hate that word. So much.

Brace yourself for awesome:

Did I say step off yet? STEP OFF.

(h/t Norm and Jennifer)

In which we do not talk about he who shall not be named

Virginia — Thu, 06 May 2010 15:51:52 +0000

Steelers voluntary workouts have been taking place since March, and the Steelers have been kind enough to send their photographer into not only the practice facility, but also the Steelers weight room to give us all a glimpse of what the rest of the team has been up to while THE WORLD CRUMBLES DOWN AROUND THEM.

I’m kidding of course.

I have to tell you guys, looking at some 150 or so pictures of Steelers who don’t wear number 7, was refreshing. It gave me a little bit of hope that I’ll be rooting hard for them this season. I don’t know. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Here’s a few pictures that I thought you (and by “you,” I mostly mean, “you ladies”) might like if you don’t want to go sift through all of the photos.

I don’t know what Cabbage Patch Baby Cici Donna is doing here, but whatever it is, he looks like he wants to eat it.

Also, I bet that’s his pooping stance and face. You’re welcome.

Do my eyes deceive me or does Skippy look not quite as … diseased as he normally does?

He looks healthy! I’m not repulsed by him! My computer isn’t giving off a stench of skeeve-tainted slut! I don’t know what to do with this information. I need to lie down or something.

Speaking of not being repulsed, heeeeeeeeeere’s Daniel!

Damn it! Where is x-ray vision already? Is this not 2010?!

With Santonio gone (I still can’t believe it), our eyes are on Mike Wallace who, really, is just nice to look at.

He’s got a perfectly symmetrical face and no, I did not use this picture and a ruler to determine that.

And finally … Tyler Grisham:

Seriously, where the hell is that x-ray vision?!

(h/t Liz)

Random n’at

Virginia — Tue, 04 May 2010 14:00:41 +0000

1. Good morning!

I just have to tell you guys this … thanks to my post yesterday, I have become NEWLY obsessed with the “trifecta” of David Cook, Bryan Adams, and Phantom of the Opera.

And my God, is YouTube ever a first-class enabler of my addiction.

David Cook singing a Phantom song.

David Cook singing a Bryan Adams song.

Bryan Adams singing a Bryan Adams song over scenes from the Phantom of the Opera.

David Cook singing a Bryan Adams song in duet with Bryan Adams

Bryan Adams singing opera sort of (O Sole Mio)

It’s a weird feeling coming to terms with just exactly how lame I am.

2. This is so awesome. Check out what the Mario Lemieux Foundation is doing as a fundraiser with the Pens — a permanent Mario Mosaic in Consol Energy Center!

The Mario Mosaic, when completed, will be a collection of images from thousands of Pittsburgh Penguins fans, Mario Lemieux Foundation supporters and cancer survivors that come together to create a 20′ x 8′ tribute image that will be on display in the main lobby of the new Consol Energy Center.

Supporters can be a part of Pittsburgh Penguins history by having their photo permanently on display in the Mario Mosaic. Photographs can be uploaded for a donation of $66.00 at www.mariolemieux.org/mariomosaic.

Fans will be able to view their photograph and the full tribute image when the mosaic is unveiled in Consol Energy Center in October 2010. A website will also be launched where participants can view the mosaic, zoom in on photos, view information about each photo and share the Mario Mosaic with friends.

Bucket list #44: Get a picture of me, Bryan Adams, David Cook, and the Phantom wearing Pens jerseys and submit it to the Mario Mosaic.

Plan B: Photoshop.

3. Here’s something amazing sent to me by the writer of Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls (hee!):

“Pigeon d’Or involves manipulating the metabolism of pigeons and turning them from urban nuisance to winged dispensers of a soap-like substance that would contribute to making cities spic-and-span.”

Pigeons. That. Poop. Soap.

Will they vomit deodorant?

And when there are more than three of them within two feet of each other, will they all spontaneously combust?

Because if we’re scientifically modifying pigeons to be less of a nuisance, we might as well go for shock and awe.

4. Here You Go has a few postcards up that they’ve received back from their efforts to hand out free umbrellas in Pittsburgh. The second one is just fantastic.

(h/t Noelle)

5. This past Friday there was an auction at A Night at the Museum benefiting the Carnegie CCO (Coalition for Christian Outreach) and one of the auction items was:

Bowling with Steelers’ Punter Daniel Sepulveda
Share a pizza and knock down some pins while asking Daniel Sepulveda anything you want to know about life in the NFL. Daniel is a down-to-earth guy who happens to be the Steelers’ top rookie of 2007 and Joe Greene Great Performance Award winner. You and five others can enjoy a fun family night out with this outstanding, personable guy, on a mutually-agreed-upon date between May and August 2010.

Donated by: Daniel Sepulveda

Value: Priceless

Well, I don’t know if I would say this is “priceless.”

I think if I wrote it, it would say:

Bowling with Daniel Sepulveda: Six billion dollars

Bowling shirtless: Priceless

(h/t Megan)

6. This is a website started by two local running moms to help other moms become runners. I Run Like a Mother.

I have this little nagging thought in my head, especially after this weekend’s marathon, that I could run if I worked at it.

But then I see the snickerdoodles.

7. PHOTOSHOP!

8. Cinco de Mayo is a few things in my life. One, it is the cincoest day of the Mayo, which means that Las Velas will be busy helping Pittsburgh get its Mexico on, and it is also my anniversary. This year will be ten years I’ve been married to my awesome Mexican who can’t ever show up on time.

But this year, we’re celebrating one day early due to the aforementioned holiday. We’ll be at Young Frankenstein’s opening tonight and PF Changs prior to that. I’ll be following the Pens score on Twitter.

Then, this Friday will be a special Cinco de Mayo Mariachi Night on the siete-eth dayo de Mayo. That should be lots of fun because a mariachi band instantly makes anything more fun. I’m going to hire them to stand behind me and play “La Cucaracha” as I pay my bills next month.

Also, somewhere, my husband is reading my Spanglish and is probably all, “It has been diez yearos. You’d think she would know a bit mas de Espanish by now.”

Random n’at.

Virginia — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 16:36:15 +0000

1. I haven’t done a Random n’at in a few days and that means I have a lot to get through here. So much so that I could probably break this into two different posts, but you and I can tough it out. Every one of them is important or interesting to me, but you just use what you can and bloop-bloop-bloop through the rest.

Here we go!

2. WANT! Check out this hat from Specter Studios, a company in Sharpsburg that manufactures lots of cool haunted house/Halloween/ZOMBIES! SHIT! RUN! type stuff:

It’s called “Puck’d” but I call it “kickass” and it’s $19.99 in their online store.

3. This column makes me never want to talk bad about West Virginia again. And yes, I can confirm, via my interaction with various newspaper reporters that they do not just write the hard stories and go home. They write the hard stories, go home, and sometimes cry.

(h/t Bill)

4. Paddle at the Point is trying to set a new world record for the largest kayak and canoe floatilla on Saturday, June 5. They’ll need 1,105 people willing to do it. I don’t “do” watercraft, mostly because I have an irrational fear of rogue waves. But you, go, be part of history!

5. Ladies, let’s talk about a Steeler who has never been accused of assaulting a woman or a paper towel dispenser. Daniel Sepulveda and his draft day memories. And look! I’m calling that a hockey playoff beard.

(h/t Lisa)

6. Just warning you that your friends who are fans of any football team other than the Steelers are going to be emailing you this some-e-card en masse:

While we’re talking about Benny, here’s a parody of the Tiger Woods commercial featuring a Benny look-a-like.

(h/t Paul and also, my DAD)

7. No words to describe how much I adore this quilted Pittsburgh skyline.

(h/t Cari)

8. Craigslist What the Effie time!

Someone wants some Mikey and Big Bob look-a-likes for some kinky fun. I love Mike and Bob, but I’d rather watch a pigeon eat my toes than watch those two lick whipped cream off of each others’ nipples.

Your dream come true! Nude male yoga on the North Side. This posting has since expired, but luckily, here’s the text:

Yoga NUDE Classes for guys

Date: 2010-03-26, 2:17PM
Traditional yoga classes – nude.
Structured practice which teaches the basics of a personal yoga regimen.
Develop mind body spirit and friendship
with other guys who practice yoga nude.
Beginners to advanced welcome.
Our 4th year of practice.
Email for details.

Let’s call this what it really is, shall we? Foreplay. I’d rather watch a pigeon drink the last bottle of Zima on the planet than see a room full of naked men doing the King of the Dance pose.

(h/t Amanda)

10. Finally, but in no way is it least, you guys might remember the name Kimberly Reed. She is the sweetheart photographer who took the photos for my about page. I spent an afternoon with her that day in Market Square, totally hanging out with pigeons so that she could get some pictures. She’s amazing and wonderful and she recently went through a surgery that well, I’ll let her tell you the story.

If you’ve ever had breast cancer touch your life (my grandmother died from it) or the life of someone you love, then the story will not only move you, but you might also want to consider donating to her cause as she raises money for and participates in the Race for the Cure.

She’s got a ways to go toward her goal of $2,000, but if 1,000 of us give her $2.00, well … do the math, smartypants (tm Patrick Dowd).

Whew. All done! Coming up next, BUCCOS POST followed by a PENGUINS POST possibly followed by a MAKE ROOM FOR KIDS POST, and definitely followed by A NAP.

A conversation with my self-united husbands.

Virginia — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 15:54:54 +0000

David Conrad: Forsooth, you look different.

Me: Yeah, I had to go anonymous again, so, you know, back to the silhouette.

Matt Lamanna: Hot.

Daniel Sepulveda: You know, we were just saying yesterday that we don’t see Doug much anymore.

Me: Oh, did I forget to tell you? I self-divorced him.

David: You can do that?!

Me: Hell yeah. I mean, he doesn’t even live in Pittsburgh anymore. He can’t take very good care of me from … wherever the hell he went.

Daniel: Tsk. You know, the Bible says, “… until death do us part.”

Matt: Yeah, and Barney says, “We’re a happy family.” We could have worked it out with him.

David: Wait. The bible doesn’t say, “Until death do us part,” you fool.

Daniel: Yes, it does. Right near where it says, “Blessed are the peacemakers on Earth.”

David: Again, NOT THE BIBLE. That’s Shakespeare. You are infirm of purpose.

Daniel: Huh?

Matt: Shakespeare, Daniel. SHAKESPEARE. He’s taunting you with Shakespeare. Tell him [whispers in Daniel's ear].

Daniel: YOUR BREATH STINKS LIKE CHEESE! Hah.

David: [eyeroll] The line is, “Thine breath stinks with eating toasted cheese.”

Me: I could go for some cheese. And can we get back to talking about me?

David: Forsooth, get your own damn cheese. I’m sick of these yahoos. You and me were just fine before they came along.

Daniel and Matt: “YAHOOS?!”

Matt: I have like sixteen doctorates!

Daniel: Like the Bible says, “A plague on your house.”

David: THE QUOTE IS, “A PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES,” AND IT IS NOT THE BIBLE! SHAKESPEARE!

[Fist-fighting ensues. Daniel attempts to punt David.]

Matt: … and speaking of breath, dinosaurs are actually the predecessors of birds and therefore they breathed with an avian-like air-sac respiratory –

Me: I miss Doug.