Random n’at.

1. Explain to me why McDonald’s (or any company for that matter) purchases two giant billboards on Route 30, one immediately after the other, say 25 feet away, with the exact same ad on them. Do they think I’m going to change my mind in the .5 seconds it take me to get from one sign to the next? “Sausage McMuffin?! No thank you very — hey, WAIT A MINUTE! I could totally go for a Sausage McMuffin!”

2. I still love the word “sausages.”

3. Someone asked LaMont how to dress when you get an invitation that says “creative cocktail.”

What kind of pretentious socialite puts “creative cocktail” as a style of requested dress for a party? To me, there should be only seven possible attires that you can put on an invitation: casual, business casual, cocktail, semi-formal, business, black-tie optional, and black-tie. Everything else can bite me.

LaMont gives a long response that confused the hell out of me.

Newfangled dress requirements don’t have to be stressful to navigate. My guess for creative cocktail is something that fuses a less-structured side of evening with a funky sartorial twist. It’s polished but not overly dressy, unexpected but not inappropriate, witty but not self-aggrandizingly over-the-top.

Well, I could argue that going naked is all of those things, so take PittGirl’s advice and teach them all a lesson the next time they ask you to dress in something as absurd as “creative cocktail” attire. Go naked.

4. Here’s a nice look at Maxime Talbot the man, and not so much Maxime Talbot the Geico Caveman. I must say, he sounds just lovely.

5. Continuing on with the Pens, Sporting News has an article that makes you go both “Word!” and “WTF?!” First, “Word!” to:

  • This team is destined for success. The Penguins are under no circumstances the evil empire either.
  • Pens fans on the whole are the savviest sports fans in the region. I have been through out the region. Trust me. They are already looking to the off-season to see what potential UFAs will be able to plug the vacancies expected to be created with the probably loss of Ryan Malone, Marian Hossa, and Brooks Orpik.
  • Penguin fans are, generally speaking, zealous but realistic.

And right after that statement, here’s the big WTF-ie:

It comes from living in a poor city like Pittsburgh.

Oh no he di’nt!

6. And since it is game day, let’s just stick with the Pens. Reader Missy wrote to me:

HOCKEY? WTF? While watching the Dallas/Detroit game I was shocked to see cheerleaders. How stupid. But I would like to see them go out on the ice and perform :-]

Maybe Missy hasn’t ever laid eyes on the Penguins cheerleaders. I know I saw them doing a bow-chicka-bow dance in the stands during the most recent game. Or did I imagine that?

7. This is a GREAT picture of the Duke. He doesn’t even look one little bit fug or gross there.

8. But then there’s this picture where the Jersey makes him the fuggest, grossest fugger ever. Not even David Conrad could make a Flyers jersey look good. In fact, if I happened upon David Conrad wearing a Flyers jersey, I would aggressively rip that jersey off of him and expose his bare chest and maybe run my hands up and down it.

It’s my duty.

(h/t Lauren)

(photo credit)


  1. pghcleak
    May 13, 2008 12:10 pm

    Poor city? Ugh, I am so sick of all the negative perceptions of Pittsburgh. In the U.S., if you’re not in the sun belt, you’re no longer a worthy place to live. Either that or everyone is still mad that we ranked #1 as Most Livable City.

  2. Izzy
    May 13, 2008 12:15 pm

    #6. WTF, indeed! When did they sneak in the cheerleaders? Perhaps we can get Steely McBeam to drive them to the next game!

  3. Allison
    May 13, 2008 12:34 pm

    My jaw dropped…poor city?!

    They are obviously a Philly fan and is terribly uneducated in the ways of the Burgh. I think you would be the PERFECT person to teach them.

  4. Allison
    May 13, 2008 12:37 pm

    Sorry…ARE terribly uneducated.

  5. Heather
    May 13, 2008 12:57 pm

    My favorite of LaMont’s suggestions is this:

    “He also could have gone with khaki pants, a multicolored plaid jacket and a pastel shirt with a skinny bow tie and a Panama hat.”

    This outfit conjures up a vision of a fancy gentleman out on the town somewhere in Florida, most likely taking his ladyfriend to get the early bird special.

  6. Kat
    May 13, 2008 1:05 pm

    LaMont had a terrible column today about college kids buying clothes for work. Which is fine, but he used the phrase “Brooks Brothers rather than Banana Republic”. As if a.) a college student can afford Brooks Brothers right out of college, and b.) the Banana makes innappropriate work clothes. I have several BR A-line skirts that would beg to differ.

  7. Christina
    May 13, 2008 1:09 pm

    Regarding #2, the best reason to own a dog is that it gives you an excuse to buy Snausages.


  8. day after next
    May 13, 2008 1:11 pm

    “Penguins fans are, generally speaking, zealous but realistic. It comes from living in a poor city like Pittsburgh.”

    Yeah, I said WTF on this one also, but after a second look I think it’s actually a poorly written, very backhanded compliment. Allow me to re-word…

    Pittsburgh was brought to its knees following the implosion of the steel industry, and its residents have hung tough, battling back with brute force. Fans have come to expect this same fortitude from their Penguins. Yet, the city’s humbling economic history has taught them to reject the sense of entitlement and self-righteousness often associated with certain other sports franchises. I’m looking at you, Yankees fans.

  9. Bram R
    May 13, 2008 1:37 pm

    I think “creative cocktail” means “the sexy cat or nurse outfit you wore for Halloween in college.”

  10. minion # 77777777
    May 13, 2008 2:02 pm


    Step into the #7 light!

    He is neither Fug or Gross…get over it! At this point all you have heard is rumor and untill he does something to you personally…he is neither fug or gross!

    Love always,
    The minions

  11. unsatisfied
    May 13, 2008 2:03 pm

    “la-MONT! I’m havin’ the big one! ‘lizabeth! I’m comin’ to join ya, honey!!”

    fred g. sanford rules.

    and, did someone say, “SNAUSAGES?”

  12. JamieO
    May 13, 2008 2:05 pm

    To Reader Missy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kingdafy/2382305551/

    So, apparently they do go out on the ice and perform. They must have some sort of special shoes or whatever.

  13. Julie
    May 13, 2008 2:21 pm

    My answer to the question on ‘creative cocktail’ attire? The little black dress. Can’t lose! It may not be ‘creative,’ but it certainly works for any occasion.

  14. Amanda
    May 13, 2008 3:05 pm

    I love the word sausages tooooooooo!

    Which reminds me… I recently made my first lolcat (shut up!) and you might enjoy it…

    Don’t forgive to give it five cheezburgerz!

  15. PittinDC
    May 13, 2008 3:09 pm

    If Banana Republic isn’t appropriate office attire, then I clearly missed the memo. As did the rest of my office. Because every female under 30 has the same Express button ups in my office.. and they are way cheaper than anything in Banana.

  16. retiredguy
    May 13, 2008 4:16 pm

    “He also could have gone with khaki pants, a multicolored plaid jacket and a pastel shirt with a skinny bow tie and a Panama hat.”

    Sounds like Truman Capote heading out on the town.

  17. TC
    May 13, 2008 4:49 pm

    Um, wait. There are at least 7 “BASIC” types of dress? I only know

    1. Jeans
    2. Nice Jeans
    3. Suit
    4. Church, but not “suit church”

    I would have shown up to the “creative casual” with nice jeans, a blazer, and a t-shirt with a clever joke or curse word. Maybe that’s why I’m not invited.

  18. julietc
    May 13, 2008 5:37 pm

    How much do I J’AIME that picture of Maxime that you swiped from facebook?

  19. missy
    May 13, 2008 5:43 pm

    Man, thanks to JamieO for the link to the peforming cheerleaders.
    I never would have guessed they actually performed.

  20. PittCheMBA
    May 13, 2008 8:23 pm

    How can Max Talbot play with a broken foot while Big Ben blames a bad performance on a bogus broken toe?

  21. bucdaddy
    May 13, 2008 8:39 pm

    PG, You’re invited to all my parties. And since you seem inclined: Clothing optional.

  22. maybe not
    May 14, 2008 11:49 am

    Based on the photos of the attendees of the Carnegie International preview party, at which (coincidentally?) the attire was “creative cocktail,” LaMont’s answer was published two weeks too late. http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08131/879493-460.stm#

  23. kkinLA
    May 14, 2008 4:18 pm

    Pittgirl…the cockles of my cold, black heart were warmed by that touching story of Big Ben donating the K-9s to not only our dear ol’ hometown, but to all of the towns that the Steelers played in all over the country? Show me one frickin’ Bengal, Raven or Cowboy who is as generous on the road as he is at home!!!?? I think not…

    So, that’s all to say that I’ll forgive Ben for his country bumpkin sartorial, er…splendor. At least his teeth look nice-n-white!

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