THANK YOU, CITY PAPER!

I heard this rumor, but no one printed it, and since it was hearsay on my part, I didn’t print it but City Paper has the balls, the cojones, the donkey omelets of steel to print what I couldn’t believe I heard:

“Off the Record” gives local officials rebuttal time as “guest humorists.” And according to several witnesses who contacted us after the fact, Ravenstahl used his moment on stage to send a message to ACLU state legal director Vic Walczak, who has sharply criticized the city’s handling of G-20 protesters. According to multiple sources, Ravenstahl said something like this: “I heard we’re going to face a free-speech lawsuit. Well, I have some free speech for you — fuck you, Vic Walczak.”

The way I was told it, the very afternoon after he did it, was that Lukey, dressed in riot gear, said, “I got your free speech right here [flip the double bird and sort of motion toward crotch in that Snoop Dogg style] — FUCK YOOOOOOOOUUUUU, Vic.”   That’s what I was told.

Er, sorry I just said “fuck” but I’m probably going to have to say it again at some point in this post, so brace yourself, Daddy.

My view is this, Lukey went too far.  Actually, he didn’t just go too far, he saw the line, laughed at the line, erased the line, then got in his spaceship and zoomed to the planet Visuviusium six galaxies away and then kept the hell on going like a fleet of starfighters was on his ass.  THAT’S how far he went.

There’s a time for a politician to joke around, hell, maybe there’s a time for a politician to be all “FUCK YOU!” but in front of an audience of voters who merely had to shell out a few bucks to be in attendance, and during election time to boot… is not that time.

His spokesperson, the talented Joanna Doven said:

“The mayor was pleased to be a guest humorist. He enjoyed himself,” said mayoral spokesperson Joanna Doven. “It raised more than $30,000 for the Food Bank.”

Oh! It was for CHARITY! Okay, the event I’m going to tonight is for charity, so please, come to the bar at the Glass Center and I’ll be all, “Welcome! I’ve got your drink right here. FUCK YOUUUUUUU!”

I’m such a philanthropist.





61 Comments


  1. Kathy
    October 16, 2009 11:13 am

    uh….why was the boy wonder dressed in riot gear? That is almost as ridiculous as the fact that at the next SWAT call after the three Pgh officers were shot he showed up in a bullet proof vest.

    Maybe Pittsburgh could close the budget gap by scheduling a wrestling match between the boy wonder and Walczak and sell tickets! I would pay to see that.



  2. Bobbo
    October 16, 2009 11:15 am

    Thanks for the laugh! Now if you’ll excuse me, f*ck you. (not really you, just saying it b/c it seems cool now…plus, I have the mouth of a trucker!!)



  3. ClumberKim
    October 16, 2009 11:20 am

    I thought Lukey only wore the riot gear when he was taking the homeland security SUV for a spin.



  4. spoon
    October 16, 2009 11:24 am

    since most of our hobos wonder around town screaming “fuck” why don’t we just dress them in riot gear. At least they’ll have a fighting chance when Lukey and Dan want to clean up our image again for the next “help me get elected governor but its not really for that its for the city” event.



  5. Sexy Jesus
    October 16, 2009 11:33 am

    This is what we get for electing a prepubescent to serve as mayor. Can we please let an adult run the city for a change? I believe that there is one on the ballot.



  6. Lauren
    October 16, 2009 11:58 am

    @Sexy Jesus: Does that candidate have a D next to his/her name? If not, never gonna happen.



  7. Bram R
    October 16, 2009 12:01 pm

    @Lauren: That candidate is actually going to have both a D and an R next to his name. Which we can hope makes some things click for some people, but doubtful.

    Debate tomorrow, y’all! KDKA! High noon! Anybody got a drinking game?



  8. cpg
    October 16, 2009 12:01 pm

    @ Sexy Jesus … and who would that be?? Kevin Acklin or Dok Harris, both of whom are roughly the same age as Lukey? Riiiight.

    I for one think the whole thing is hilarious. Has the Boy Wonder screwed up on occasion? Absolutely! But I think he’s navigated the learning curve about as well as anyone could expect. I mean, he even admits that he didn’t know what he was doing when he assumed command.

    Anyway, kudos to him for participating in the event, raising money for charity and poking fun at himself.



  9. President Pigeon
    October 16, 2009 12:11 pm

    To Kathy: I would pay to see that wrestling match,only if it is a steel cage match.



  10. Bojack
    October 16, 2009 12:23 pm

    WE (the taxpayers) BOUGHT the ONLY insurance the City has for the G20 event, which was for exactly this!! To pay the inevitable lawsuits.

    NO, NONE, ZERO insurance was bought to pay for any and all damage i.e. windows, cars, etc, wrought by protesters and/or the
    swarm of full, premium price cops from every state and and Samoa brought here to contain the hippie horde!!

    The insurance covers only Lukey’s & Dan-the-Ho’s personal liability and any, you guessed it, 1st Amendment and brutality lawsuits!! All of THEIR asses were covered before day 1!!

    The business owners are STILL left holding the bag!!



  11. unsatisfied
    October 16, 2009 12:56 pm

    hmmm, let’s look at it a different way….maybe lukey’s onto something….

    I think that a few more FU’s should be dished out:

    jon and kate
    sienna miller
    the nutbag flying saucer balloon father
    any kardashian
    marian hossa
    chad johnson
    octomom
    paris hilton
    brett fav-er-uh’s comeback
    jessica simpson and her sister, the lip-syncher
    nickelback
    terrell owens……..



  12. Yoda
    October 16, 2009 1:01 pm

    Wise he is not young Master Luke



  13. Donncha
    October 16, 2009 1:05 pm

    Has anyone considered that, perchance, the young mayor was playing a character of some sort, hence the costume?



  14. Lauren
    October 16, 2009 1:09 pm

    Donkey omelets. That’s all I’m saying.



  15. Jim
    October 16, 2009 1:12 pm

    This is why there is a MINIMUM AGE requirement in the Constitution to hold office in Congress and in the White House. The Boy Wonder continues to underwhelm us with his brilliance.



  16. pghgeorge
    October 16, 2009 1:28 pm

    Okay folks…moving forward.
    TGIFF!!



  17. carnegiegrl
    October 16, 2009 1:38 pm

    @ unsatisfied:

    I think I love you, if for no other reason than putting Sienna Miller on that list (and frankly, everyone else!)



  18. Sexy Jesus
    October 16, 2009 1:45 pm

    Luke should be given credit for nothing other than being born into the right family with the right political affiliation. Someone else with his level of sophistication and presence would be lucky to hold down Michael Scott’s job.

    It always amazes me that people think he should be given credit for not blowing the city up (or having it sucked into a black hole), because he’s soooooo young. How about doing one tangible thing to improve the city? I’d give him credit for that, if applicable.

    And for those curious: I’m a Democrat. Voted for Obama and everything. I swear.



  19. Lauren
    October 16, 2009 1:49 pm

    I don’t live in Pittsburgh any more, so I really haven’t been able to keep up on the local political races (that’s what That’s Church is for, among other things, LOL) but I still think that seeing an R next to someone’s name on a ballot will send voters into convulsions, whether or not there’s a D accompanying it. My grandma would rather vote for Steely McBeam with a D after his name than ANYONE with an R next to theirs.

    Then again, I live in El Paso, where it’s even worse. *Sigh*



  20. Jagoff
    October 16, 2009 1:54 pm

    I love it. He would have my vote if he lived in the city.



  21. Jagoff
    October 16, 2009 1:54 pm

    If I lived in the city. I’m retarded.



  22. Sexy Jesus
    October 16, 2009 1:58 pm

    Jagoff,

    Gathered that from the Lukey support. But thanks for confirming.



  23. Five Finger Discount
    October 16, 2009 2:01 pm

    Anyone think that the mayor is serious? I mean, isn’t the way he says “F*ck you” really a solicitation for fornication?

    Methinks Luke is looking for some liberal action



  24. unsatisfied
    October 16, 2009 2:41 pm

    hey, feelin’ the love! thanks, carnegiegrl!

    of course, I coulda kept going on that list……



  25. Katrina
    October 16, 2009 2:56 pm

    And yet, Pittsburgh will reelect this clown in a few weeks.

    Sometimes, I forget why I love this city so much. This is one of those times.



  26. Jagoff
    October 16, 2009 3:35 pm

    Thanks, Jesus, but sometimes people just aren’t as quick as you.



  27. L-A
    October 16, 2009 3:43 pm

    unsatisfied, you are the shiz.



  28. Elmer Palmer
    October 16, 2009 3:58 pm

    Ken,

    Wasn’t Luke recently pregnant? Maybe this is just a hormonal reaction, post-partem.



  29. Sooska
    October 16, 2009 4:09 pm

    just asking: was that humorous (as in guest humorist?) or just more of the same that the Lukey gave to city dwellers during the G20? answers: NO and YES
    and for more fun he looks drunk in that photo. not that there’s anything wrong with that.



  30. bluzdude
    October 16, 2009 4:50 pm

    “Pitts-burgh… F-Yeah… Coming again to save the M – F’n day, yeah… “



  31. spoon
    October 16, 2009 6:14 pm

    @unsatisfied fuck you. lets go get a beer. Mad Mex Cran is feeling lonely



  32. Bojack
    October 16, 2009 6:21 pm

    This pic of Lukey truly captures his “dumber than dirt” self!!!

    Looks like he would be well-placed as the “not even familiar with my own products” yo-yo salesman at a cheesy cellphone kiosk!!



  33. washjeff
    October 16, 2009 6:28 pm

    He’s making a great impression for future leaders. W&J must be sooooo fucking proud



  34. Really
    October 16, 2009 6:58 pm

    You don’t have to have a D after your name to be elected mayor.

    Mayor Caliguiri won as an I. And he rocked Grant St.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mayor_of_Pittsburgh



  35. unsatisfied
    October 16, 2009 8:24 pm

    @ spoon — fuck you, too. 1st round’s on me. srsly.



  36. Mary Beth
    October 16, 2009 10:05 pm

    We need to rid ourselves of this ridiculous excuse for a mayor. He is an embarrassment to our city and community.



  37. ChristinaMarie
    October 16, 2009 10:30 pm

    That pic made me pee a little, I think. Next time I see Santa ringing a bell outside my local Wal-Mart, I’ma gonna be all…”Efff you! Lions club/Shriner’s/fake Santa doing good stuff for kids with cancer and the like man. Effffff eweeeee. Because really, it’s all about making sure you’re sometimes the biggest bung hole in a 100 mile radius isn’t it?



  38. La Reina
    October 17, 2009 5:17 am

    Lukey is setting such a fine example for his little Spawn of Ravenstahl.



  39. bucdaddy
    October 17, 2009 8:01 am

    It’s fun to say “F*ck,” isn’t it?

    F*ckf*ckf*ckf*ckityf*ck.

    Down here it’s “F*ck y’all!”



  40. jennviolet
    October 17, 2009 9:34 am

    What a way to start out the day. FUCK YOU world! It’s really too bad we’re not in the office today. Eff you boss! Eff you lunch lady! Eff you crossing guard!



  41. Magnus Patris
    October 17, 2009 12:10 pm

    #35: “Mayor Caliguiri won as an I. And he rocked Grant St.” That’s ’cause they thought the “I” stood for I-talian.



  42. bucdaddy
    October 17, 2009 2:12 pm

    Magnus wins.



  43. matt pritt
    October 18, 2009 7:00 am

    It should be noted that Caliguiri wasn’t really an Independant, but ran as one because the party that year nominated Tom Foerester, who nearly knocked off Caliguiri despite RSC’s incumbent status (Caliguiri originally took office when Pete Flaherty was appointed deupty attorney general). Once RSC won his first mayoral election (47.9% to 43.7% for Tom Foerester), in subsequent years he went back to running as a D with the party’s blessing.



  44. Ravishing Rick
    October 18, 2009 8:47 pm

    My view is this, Lukey went too far. Actually, he didn’t just go too far, he saw the line, laughed at the line, erased the line, then got in his spaceship and zoomed to the planet Visuviusium six galaxies away and then kept the hell on going like a fleet of starfighters was on his ass. THAT’S how far he went.



  45. Ravishing Rick
    October 18, 2009 9:05 pm

    Thought the first amendment was freedom of speech or may you have your own version of it there Jane opinions are like assholes Jane everybody’s got one
    So here is my opinion of you
    Acronym for Young Urban Professional – typically a person who wants you to believe that they are superior to you due to their high-paying corporate job and social status. Activities include frequent purchases of expensive fuel-INefficient vehicles, extravagant clothing and jewelry, and anything that “elevates” them to a higher social standing.

    Behavioral traits include intense arrogance, unhealthy preoccupation/obsession with the safety of their spawn, meeting with personal trainers, immeasurable selfishness, and constant obliviousness to anyone who does not have the same or greater “social status”. Free thought is not allowed as it disrupts the balance of their world.

    Habitat is restricted to excessively large, poorly-built houses (McMansions) which are frequently gated in to form a yuppie compound, typically called a subdivision or gated community. The compound is governed by a small group of fascists operating under the moniker of a neighborhood association. The compound is erected to provide the ILLUSION of a safe and secure environment for the yuppies to raise their spawn.

    Have a nice day,God Bless and Fa Q TOOOOOOOO



  46. Ravishing Rick
    October 18, 2009 9:09 pm

    So in other words “Lukey’s Free Thought” is not allowed because it disrupted the balance of your world !!
    HA!



  47. Ravishing Rick
    October 18, 2009 9:15 pm

    The First Amendment to the United States Constitution is part of the Bill of Rights. The amendment prohibits the Congress from making laws “respecting an establishment of religion”, prohibiting the free exercise of religion, infringing on the freedom of speech and infringing on the freedom of the press. In the 20th century the Supreme Court held that the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment applies the First Amendment to each state, including any local government.

    Anthony M. Kennedy wrote: “First Amendment freedoms are most in danger when the government seeks to control thought or to justify its laws for that impermissible end. The right to think is the beginning of freedom, and speech must be protected from the government because speech is the beginning of thought.”



  48. Bojack
    October 18, 2009 10:35 pm

    Rav Rick>>>
    I pretty much agree with your rating of “McMansion”-yuppies, but I have news for you- the old ones are no diff! LOL

    But what does that have to do with Lukey being just a dumb shit??



  49. PG Wodehouse
    October 19, 2009 5:40 am

    I love it when people bring up the First Amendment and then completely misapply it to the situation. Even better when they cite examples which completely refutes their point. The first amendment says, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” Rick also points out the opinion but Supreme Court justice Anthony Kennedy – “First Amendment freedoms are most in danger when the government seeks to control thought or to justify its laws for that impermissible end. The right to think is the beginning of freedom, and speech must be protected from the government because speech is the beginning of thought.”

    Both citations specifically refer to the government interfering with the free speech of their constituents. To see what real repression of the right to free speech looks like one need only look at what is going on in Iran.

    Unless Virginia is proposing a law that says Mayor Ravenstahl is not allow to swear or perform questionable satiric comedy, she has a right to express her opinion. Just as you have a right to disagree with her opinion and express it here. This is called public discourse. It is how the public mores of society are set. To the extent that the majority of people agree with Ginny, then public figures will have to think twice when attempting edgy humor. To the extent they agree with you, then they will have more freedom to express themselves. However, the restriction on this freedom of expression has nothing to do with government suppression.