My family illustrated in one picture.

While I was toiling over my upcoming Buccos of Suckitude post, an email popped into my inbox from my oldest sister Ta-Ta the Grand Poobah. She was taking a moment to forward a picture from vacation that she thought was just awesome and a great representation of what my family is like.

This picture to be exact:

I know what you’re thinking: “What the hell is going on here?! Are they … racing babies in wagons?!”

You betcha.

You see, my family, it is large and weird and when one of us (me) has the good sense to plop one of the family babies into a plastic wagon, and then realize that there is another family baby and another wagon, well, THE BABY WAGON RACE IS ON!

It started innocently. I was helping my just-turned-1 nephew put sand in a wagon when I thought to myself, “I think this wagon could hold this baby.”

So I tried it and yep, the baby fit like a snug little pill bug holed up in its shell. Well, you know that when you put a baby in a conveyance with wheels, you then must push the baby around to see if you can get a giggle out of said baby.

It worked. Except after three minutes of bending over and pushing a now-giggling baby, one tends to get a toe cramp, in their ribs. I was crippled and turned baby-pushing duties over to my brother-in-law, who after a few minutes was also all, “CRAMP!”

The solution to this cramping problem was not to examine our poor state of physical fitness, nor was it to stop pushing the baby. Our solution was, “Hey! Let’s use a shirt to PULL THE BABY-STUFFED WAGON!


So now we have one laughing baby zooming up and down the shoreline, being pulled by his father, while another family baby is all, “I could totally take that kid. He would eat my baby-wagon dust.”

Enter my sister Pens Fan, sporting her PittGirl shirt, and enter her baby, who also turned one recently, tucked snugly into a pink wagon, and enter someone to say, “We should totally have a race.”

There we were, my entire family lined up on the beach cheering on the Ocean Isle Baby Wagon Race of 2010. Tina Fey’s son being pulled by his father versus Pens Fan’s daughter being pulled by Pens Fan herself.

Look how serious Pens Fan is about this race. She wants to win this baby-wagon pulling race like there’s a kiss from Sidney Crosby on the line.

Look at the babies eyeing each other up all, “My mom is kicking your dad’s ass.”

“Whatever. My dad is pwning your mom. Also, who the hell is PittGirl?!”

I’m not going to lie; the words “Chariots of Fire” were uttered.  There may have been some humming of the tune.

There were witnesses to this race. Other beach goers watching the shenanigans, watching us cheering like we were witnessing our horse win the Triple Crown, probably thinking to themselves, “This poor white trash family has clearly never been to a beach before.”

I’m sure you want to know who won, and in this particular race, it was the boys.

That’s the victory lap, right there.

Next year, we’re going big. Radio Flyers.

Bring it, babies.


  1. bucdaddy
    August 25, 2010 12:16 pm

    If you’re going to tell us that the Pirates suck, I’ll tell you a little secret: We know.

    Thanks anyway.

  2. MomOfThree
    August 25, 2010 12:23 pm

    I think our families would get along wonderfully. My mom gave all 5 of her grandchildren rides on the luggage carts (available in the condo for loading/unloading luggage) down the long hallways in our building. Of course, it turned into luggage cart races down the hall complete with my daughter screaming “My leg is smashed” the entire race.

  3. annietiques
    August 25, 2010 12:39 pm

    Oh my goodness, is that baby adorable! Thanks for the family post this morning; brought a smile to my heart!

    Your family sounds very much like my wackado clan!

  4. Bob M
    August 25, 2010 12:48 pm

    That should totally be a reward challenge on “Survivor”.

    Those little ones are going to grow up with such memories of good times at the beach.
    But with therapy, they’ll get over it. :)

    Seriously, thanks for sharing a wonderful time with family.

  5. CuriousestGeorge
    August 25, 2010 1:28 pm

    I could be mistaken, and not to change the subject, but are those two beached whales on the left, wallowing in the surf?
    Just curious.

  6. Just A Simple Man
    August 25, 2010 1:51 pm

    Here’s a good word to work into your Buccos post… “ignominy”

  7. KGC
    August 25, 2010 2:21 pm

    Hope they don’t grow up to race scrub-buckets up and down the girl’s dorm (Stalnaker Hall) floor @ WVU… I’ve *ahem* *heard* that’s been done by a bunch of drunk frat boys.

  8. dss
    August 25, 2010 2:25 pm

    Those little babies are completely made of marshmallow fluff and whipped cream…totally adorable

  9. Bulldog
    August 25, 2010 2:26 pm

    Awesome, wonderful post. Thanks for sharing.

  10. spoon
    August 25, 2010 2:31 pm

    I keep looking at the 2 in the upper left and wonder if the tide is about to suck them in

  11. Monty
    August 25, 2010 2:51 pm

    @ spoon — you overestimate the tide’s abilities.

  12. Ms Redd
    August 25, 2010 2:54 pm

    What a cute kid with all the blonde curls!!

  13. red pen mama
    August 25, 2010 4:00 pm

    Having a like crazy family, I laughed the whole way through this post.

    And I love the victory lap picture. That kid is chillin’.

  14. bluzdude
    August 25, 2010 4:20 pm

    The 2 on the left seem to be sinking into the sand. I bet they were completely gone in the next half hour.

  15. bucdaddy
    August 25, 2010 5:04 pm


    That’s not a very nice thing to call WVU girls.

  16. Woy
    August 25, 2010 10:16 pm

    Great post – and way for Tammy to represent with her Minion of PittGirl t-shirt!

  17. Alyssa
    August 27, 2010 1:50 pm

    I have to say, you make me laugh on a daily basis. Would have loved to witness this.. And by the way, your nephew is so adorable!