All flabbered up in the gaster.

Because they can’t give their readers enough chances to write comments that include multiple appearances of the words rape, rapist, and Rapelisberger, TMZ is covering the upcoming Ben Roethlisberger nuptials like he’s the Prince of Wales taking a commoner for a bride.

Not only does TMZ have a copy of Ben’s Save The Date card as seen below:

 

But they also have he and his bride-to-be’s Macy’s registry which includes things like a $200 bedding set, a $75 frame, a $7.50 napkin, a travel steamer, luggage locks, a couch.

My thoughts:

1. Someone who Benny or his fiance considers a friend is selling info to TMZ. We can only hope we’re going to get some at-the-altar twitpics out of this.

2. When I was engaged to my husband, I was 24 and clueless. I went to my favorite store to register for gifts at the behest of my mother. So there I was in Target — the word you are searching for, once again, is classy — and I was holding a register gun scanner, and had no idea what to register for. I’d never “kept house.”  I’d never “cooked.” Whatever that is. So I just started scanning things that seemed appropriate. Like a little kid playing house. “Let’s see. I’ll need two bath towels. And 30 different spatulas. And a pony. Where are the ponies?”

When I was done, I had seriously scanned two bath towels, two washclothes, one mixing bowl, a bazillion Michael Graves kitchen utensils, and one storage canister. The medium-sized one. Like Goldilocks, I thought the small one seemed too small and the big one seemed too big. The medium one was just right for all the things I was going to store in my kitchen over the next decade or so.

When I returned to my mother’s house that day, she looked at my registry, said something about “where did I go wrong?,” and sent me back out.

Why am I telling you this? Because I like to make it all about me.

And you think I’m not self-aware.

But, Internet, FILTHY RICH PEOPLE WHO ARE RECOGNIZED AS FILTHY RICH AND FAMOUS ALL OVER THE WORLD HAVE WEDDING REGISTRIES AT MACY’S?!?

Seriously? Like, do William and Kate have a wedding registry? Do people gift the future king and queen of England the bath towels for whatever castle they’ll live in?

There are going to be middle-class people at that wedding giving Ben Roethlisberger, a bazillionaire, a set of luggage locks?

3. Can’t he just give his fiance his Amex Black Card and then tell the wedding guests to donate to charity or something? For this reason alone, I hope this is a gag registry that someone created just to mess with TMZ.

I guess I’m just flabbergasted they even have a registry. I’m flabbergasted it’s at Macy’s. I’m flabbergasted that I don’t use the word flabbergasted more. It’s a fun word.

Most of all, I’m flabbergasted they registered for a couch.

How the hell do you wrap that thing?

 





58 Comments


  1. Scott
    February 28, 2011 10:56 am

    Speaking of ridiculous gifts, how about the fact that the gift bags given to Oscar nominees yesterday contained $70,000 worth of schwag….$70 LARGE.

    And to think I get excited when I stumble upon a better-than-average pen being given away at a trade show.



  2. bucdaddy
    February 28, 2011 11:02 am

    Bucdaughter called yesterday all elated that she had found a candy bar, pristine and in the wrapper, outside the drug store.

    I tried to think of something funny to write about the registry list but it speaks for itself and there’s nothing left to say but: Rich get richer.



  3. Robin
    February 28, 2011 11:11 am

    That wedding date is one week after mine. I feel like I’ve dodged a bullet.



  4. Karen S.
    February 28, 2011 11:20 am

    You know what though? People invited to weddings give gifts, whether you want them to or not. I know people who aren’t filthy rich who asked that in lieu of gifts, please donate to XYZ charity, and people just got them gifts they’d never. ever. have registered for.

    Heck, for my third kid’s first birthday, in light of the fact that we have every toy produced in the past 10 years, we asked that people bring an item for East End Cooperative Ministries instead of a gift. People brought cans and some people brought gifts too. People like to give presents.

    The way I see it, Macy’s isn’t the most outrageous place to register, and those items aren’t across-the-board extravagant.



  5. Jerron
    February 28, 2011 11:24 am

    Random thoughts:

    I hope this is stuff they are donating to someone. I hope! Most of that shit is ugly!

    I think they are going for country chic. Who needs that much wood?

    Seems like they would have been better off Bass Pro Shop.



  6. Moxie Bestos
    February 28, 2011 11:33 am

    I saw the luggage locks and immediately thought that this was all bogus, set up to see who would find it and believe it.



  7. empirechick
    February 28, 2011 11:52 am

    @Karen S – I think it might have been better if what they had registered for WAS extravagant. I understand your point about people doing whatever they want, instead of what the host/ess wants, but you’re a $100M player and you’re asking for $4.95 bamboo chopsticks? Just seems tacky. But it’s a lose-lose for them, I guess.

    Although the bigger point is indeed that Ashley’s peeps are selling her out to TMZ. All the ‘news’ seems to come out of New Castle…



  8. Marcy
    February 28, 2011 12:06 pm

    I don’t see why it’s a big deal. She’s a normal girl (i.e., not from money) with friends who do not have deep pockets, and she will certainly have showers, etc. thrown for her. Why not register? People are going to give them gifts (per etiquette, asking people to not bring gifts is tacky and besides, people will ignore that request) and not all their wedding guests will be wealthy. It’s almost like a courtesy anymore and frankly, I think it shows some sensitivity on at least her part.



  9. Monty
    February 28, 2011 12:07 pm

    Why is “July” in script, but “Saturday” and “23, 2001” aren’t? Is there a rule about that? And if so, why? I feel shame for noticing this and being bothered by it.



  10. Sheila
    February 28, 2011 12:09 pm

    Well she’s clearly going to have a shower so you have to bring something right? So why not register instead of getting a bunch of crap you don’t like? Figure a lot of her guests are her parent’s friends (not super celebs) so you have to pick stuff thats reasonable for people to buy. I think the whole registry thing speaks to the bride more than him and that she “seems” down to earth and not asking for crazy expensive gifts b/c her husband is a millionaire. So Macys it is, although if I was her I would have gone crate & barrel. Too bad everything has been leaked, assuming it wasn’t on purpose.



  11. Sarah
    February 28, 2011 12:17 pm

    William and Catherine have asked for charitable donations in lieu of gifts.

    Heck, even my fiance and I, two low brow workers who make a measly 100K between the two of us a year (not millions like our lovely quarterback) and we are just registring for the basic china, because you know what? We got the basic stuff in college and still works just fine.

    I think it is CRAZY to ask your middle-class friends to buy you an ugly, expensive dish.

    Can’t wait to see the pictures someone takes at the wedding with their cell phone. They need to recount who they consider their friends.



  12. Sarah
    February 28, 2011 12:19 pm

    @ Sheila

    They have a Crate and Barrel registry too.

    They have were also at Ben’s sister’s game yesterday. So apparently, she isn’t being hidden anymore.



  13. JH
    February 28, 2011 12:19 pm

    I can’t help but think that this is all bogus internet rumors… A registry is definitely easy to fake. Anyone can go onto Macys.com and create a registry. All you need is some basic info (which is easy to lie about) and an email address… I could log on and make a registry pretending to be Prince William and Kate, so I don’t think it is impossible to think that someone would say that they were “Ben Roethlisberger” and create a registry. On the other hand, maybe Ben just really likes those luggage locks and needs to have someone else buy them for him…



  14. sara
    February 28, 2011 12:39 pm

    Why shouldnt she be able to register like any other bride? Just because she is married to an athlete? She should be allowed to have the same bridal experience as anyone else. And i am sure the majority of people they know are not as wealthy as he is so Macy’s is a perfect place for them to buy gifts. If my fiance handed me his credit card and said ‘you cant register. just go buy what you need’ that would kinda take away from the fun of gettting wedding gifts from people.



  15. Sarah
    February 28, 2011 12:47 pm

    @Sara

    I am a bride looking forward to my showers. I would look forward to an unlimited card even more. Forget just China, I would buy a whole new wardrobe and pearls to go along with all my domestic stuff- In other words, I would June Cleaver it.



  16. tw
    February 28, 2011 2:14 pm

    I agree with sara and Marcy…she is a normal girl and like most women have dreamed of their special day (including the shower, etc.). I would hate if Ben just gave me a card to use b/c I don’t feel right spending money on myself and gifts are much more fun. The shower would include more of her side anyways and like many pointed out they don’t have money. Now if she registered at Walmart (like many of my friends do) then I’d be all ???



  17. PittStudent
    February 28, 2011 2:18 pm

    Well, according to the comments, they can’t win. Everyone seems to think something different is “tacky.” I hope she realizes that she needs to do what makes her happy and forget about everyone else, because it seems impossible to please everyone when it comes to anything surrounding a wedding.

    I think that the discretion that Ben has used in this situation is really respectable, and I hope he can keep that up.



  18. burgher-licious
    February 28, 2011 2:22 pm

    I wonder what kind of shot glasses they will get?



  19. bluzdude
    February 28, 2011 2:27 pm

    I’m with the people that are cutting the bride-to-be a break. She’s a civilian and probably just getting a taste of living under a microscope. I’m sure she’s just doing the things that her friends and family traditionally do. Who are we to judge what’s tacky or not?

    We should collectively “step off.”



  20. HorseshoeBend
    February 28, 2011 2:31 pm

    Does Macy’s sell mace or pepper spray?



  21. Butcher's Dog
    February 28, 2011 2:32 pm

    See, this is precisely the point in every married man’s life where he begins to use the phrase that will allow him to survive: “Yes, dear.” Yinz guys out there know exactly what I mean, too.

    Um…luggage locks? Can’t fly commercial with those, as far as I know, and to need them on team charter flights means he doesn’t trust his teammates as much as maybe he should. Anyone else bothered by this?



  22. Aileen
    February 28, 2011 2:45 pm

    Who cares about Macy’s? Here’s my list of questions:

    Will they do shots at the reception?

    Will Willie Colon be a groomsman?

    How about Max Starks?

    Is so, what will the average size of the tuxedos be for the groomsmen?

    What will Hines Ward wear to the wedding?

    Will Chris Kemoeatu cut his god-awful mullet for the wedding?

    Will Jeff Reed be invited? Will he hit on Ben’s sister, Carly?

    Does Daniel Sepulveda need a date to the wedding?

    Will Troy wear his hair up or down?



  23. Mark
    February 28, 2011 3:07 pm

    Anyone else wonder why the names are so informal. Usually save the date cards use full names. Like instead of Ben it would be,Benjamin Todd Roethlisberger. I know we know he isn’t that calssy but I find it odd.



  24. YinzerInExile
    February 28, 2011 3:10 pm

    @ Butcher’s Dog (21) — As far as I know, you can use luggage locks on commercial flights, they just have to be TSA certified (which I presume means that the TSA has some universal way to unlock them, at their whim)

    Also firmly in the “give ’em a break” camp. Another way of looking at this is from the perspective of all the “normal” people attending, who might find it irritating in the extreme to *not* have a registry to guide them.

    Because honestly, if you’re a regular Joan/Joe Q. Public, you bring a gift to a wedding. If that wedding happens to involve a bajillionaire and you have NO GUIDANCE as to what might not be scoffed at, I can imagine finding that irritating. Without a registry WTF do you, a mere financial mortal, buy them, scions of wealth? Do you go without a gift? Will other people think *you’re* tacky if you do that? Do you just go for the Snoopy Sno Cone Machine and call it even?!?

    Nah. That’s too stressful. Registry–even if absurd–is much kinder.



  25. Stephen
    February 28, 2011 3:20 pm

    Her: We should do a registry.
    Ben: honey, we don’t need gifts. I’m not taking money from other people.
    Her: but I’ve always dreamed of picking out my registry. Sigh…
    Ben: but…luggage locks? I can get you whatever you want.
    Her: I WANT TO DO A REGISTRY!!!
    [Pause]
    Ben: ok.

    And…scene.



  26. Jess
    February 28, 2011 3:31 pm

    @ Mark

    I have to agree. Between that and what someone else pointed out, that “July” is scripted while the rest of the date is not, it seems odd.



  27. Betoon
    February 28, 2011 3:36 pm

    I’m just laughing at Ginny’s registry – which is probably just what I would have put on mine. I remember my Dad suggesting that we should have registered at a hardware store and he was absolutely RIGHT. He was always right about the guys I dated too. Sigh. As to Ben and his intended – I have no opinion and am keeping it that way. Wrap a couch – I’m thinking lots of brown paper or very large trash bags.



  28. JennyMoon
    February 28, 2011 3:39 pm

    Wait a sec. I’ve seen a lot of “she’s a normal girl” Can we really say she’s a normal girl if this is the guy she is picking to spend THE REST OF HER LIFE with? Srsly. :)



  29. Suz
    February 28, 2011 4:00 pm

    He has a $100 million dollar NFL contract. This couple needs no gifts.



  30. bucdaddy
    February 28, 2011 4:02 pm

    For the man who has everything: The gold-plated Monopoly set with the Get Out Of Jail Free card.



  31. Bob
    February 28, 2011 4:20 pm

    Looks like the honeymoon will be at training camp…. assuming there is one this year. Do not pass go. Do not collect $20MM.



  32. Di
    February 28, 2011 4:21 pm

    @Mark

    I noticed that right away.

    I think the save the date and the registry are both fake. I registered yesterday for my wedding and we could have used anybody’s names, there isn’t any kind of background check. You can also set your registry to be private. If you were benny’s publicist (or wedding planner) wouldn’t you recommend that?

    Just doesn’t add up for me.



  33. jann
    February 28, 2011 4:25 pm

    Butcher’s Dog – I had the same thought about those locks not being allowed on commercial flights. Didn’t make the leap to not trusting his teammates, but you are correct!



  34. Molly
    February 28, 2011 4:53 pm

    WTAE had it on the news last night after the Oscars, complete with video of Ben & Ashley at Macy’s.



  35. CrashJK
    February 28, 2011 4:53 pm

    Did he register for a small, dimly light bar bathroom too ????



  36. Lauren
    February 28, 2011 5:36 pm

    I saw the wedding webpage of an NHL player and his now-wife from a few years ago. On the registry page, she listed two charities that are important to the couple and explained that since they’ve already had a home together for a few years, they already had the things they need that people typically register for.

    Whether or not she is a “normal girl”, it’s still tacky for a multi-millionaire like Ben to be requesting registry items. A registry implies you expect people to bring you gifts – at least if you ask them to donate to charity you’re acknowledging that you are more than capable of purchasing home items for yourself (which Ben is).

    With that said, it’s also rude when someone has a registry and people just buy whatever they want (like something not on the registry), especially if they don’t provide a gift receipt and then the couple is stuck with something they don’t need or want (and probably don’t have room to store).



  37. bucdaddy
    February 28, 2011 6:25 pm

    Until I get an invitation, I’m not going to worry about it.



  38. H
    February 28, 2011 6:47 pm

    I think the registry is fake. The Macy’s one and the Crate & Barrel one were both linked to a VERY obviously fake wedding website. The site was so obviously fake, whoever created it had taken a picture of Ben and Missy Peregrym and photo-shopped Ashley’s head onto it.



  39. Sooska
    February 28, 2011 6:54 pm

    Shouldn’t Ben and his honey be signing up for one of those charities that guests can give to instead of buying millionaires kitchen gifts, or couches? Like say, Pittsburgh Action Against rape or something of that kind?

    I still think this is a PR stunt.



  40. Lisa
    February 28, 2011 8:52 pm

    Ben and his bride could help Dogs Deserve Better buy Michael Vick’s old house & property.
    DDB wants to turn it into the Good Newz Rehab Center for dogs.

    http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/pets/Group_wants_to_turn_Vicks_Bad_Newz_Kennels_into_a_good_place_for_dogs.html?text=med&c=y



  41. Me
    February 28, 2011 9:07 pm

    I’m with Bucdaddy. As I’m not invited to the wedding, and not going to buy them any gifts, whether they registered or not is of no consequence to me. I find it interesting that so many can get so indignant about the choices other people make that have no impact on their own lives whatsoever. Millionaires need flatware too. Whether someone attending their wedding decides to buy them some or not really doesn’t change a thing in life for any of us.



  42. Trish
    February 28, 2011 9:14 pm

    Completely made of fail. Does anyone have any idea how easy it is to make up a fake registry, particularly at Macy’s? The “save the date” is an obvious (and not very good) Photoshop. And no NFL player, not even one as clueless as Ben, would schedule their wedding THE WEEKEND TRAINING CAMP STARTS. And if all this is real … well, Ashley, sweetie, you need to start choosing better friends.



  43. Max
    February 28, 2011 9:37 pm

    I’d be in a much generous mood if they’d covered the spread!



  44. Julie
    February 28, 2011 9:58 pm

    Is it just me, or does this seem like a complete fake? I’ve never seen a single wedding announcement use the informal name for a bride or groom, and they always use initials. More formal that way. Which leads me to believe that this save the date is a fake.



  45. Ms.7
    March 1, 2011 12:18 am

    The save the date cards are generally informal that is sent out to out of town guests. And the invitations are formal with the full names and the jazz.

    As for the registry, I think its fake. I don’t think they would be that careless. The man hasn’t even admitted out loud yet that he is in fact getting married.



  46. #1 WI Steeler Fan
    March 1, 2011 8:42 am

    There were pictures out there of the two of them at his sister’s basketball game. And the ring was pretty obvious.



  47. Mike Frazer
    March 1, 2011 10:31 am

    Eh, I don’t see what is so wrong with it. $200 worth of bedding? All told, my wife and I — who fall right smack in the center of “middle class” wound up with somewhere over $500 worth. We registered for, and received, over $400 worth of towels.

    So what if they have a registry? People feel obligated to give gifts at weddings and they registered at a place where they could get stuff they would actually use as upper-end-of-upper-class people, but at prices that are still relatively affordable to their middle-class friends. Remember, this isn’t all about Ben — there’s a woman named Ashley Harlan involved here too, as much as TMZ would like to minimize that fact so they can spend all their time trying to run Ben into the ground.



  48. Mary
    March 1, 2011 11:33 am

    I hope she registered for some penicillin.



  49. Bern
    March 1, 2011 12:35 pm

    Can we speculate where they plan to honeymoon? Rumors, anyone?

    Perhaps Ben and his bride-to-be plan to honeymoon in the dorms at St. Vincent College in Latrobe?

    The July 23 wedding date is close to when Steelers training usually begins. Maybe the team will go to camp later this year, but it seems they always go to Latrobe at just about that time, give or take a week.

    The man has a $102 million contract. You’d think, as Ginny suggested, they’d skip the whole bridal registry thing altogether.

    Ginny has another good suggestion, which is to tell the invited guests to take the money they might spend on gifts and donate it to charity.

    The bride could even suggest a charity (say, for instance, The Women’s Center and Shelter of Pittsburgh). Too obvious?



  50. LaReina
    March 1, 2011 2:59 pm

    Those TSA locks are worthless. I had them on my suitcase the last time I went to Europe – and TSA stole them. Seriously, I got to Paris and VOILA! no lock on my bad.