For once, I wish I could really skate.

You know how much I suck at ice skating on account of, you know, my inner ear problem and by inner ear problem I mean I look like a drunk giraffe walking across a field of bowling balls.

This makes me sad because Mario Lemieux is about to make a whole bunch of hockey geeks’ dreams come freaking true! This from an email I received today from his foundation:

The Mario Lemieux Foundation announced today that NHL great and Pittsburgh Penguins owner Mario Lemieux will hold a fantasy hockey camp on January 4-8, 2012, benefiting the Foundation.  “I am excited about the prospect of this camp,” said Lemieux.  “Not only will this give adults the chance to have an NHL experience, but it will also help raise needed funds for my Foundation’s important cancer projects.”

Participants in the Mario Lemieux Fantasy Hockey Camp will have a truly unique and exclusive team experience of skating with not only Lemieux, but also legends such as Mark Recchi, Mike Eruzione, Gary Roberts, Billy Guerin, Bryan Trottier and Rick Tocchet all serving as team captains.  Participants will receive top of the line hockey gear, equipment and NHL-level hockey instruction, take part in a round-robin tournament, and attend two Pittsburgh Penguins home games at CONSOL Energy Center.  All proceeds will benefit the Lemieux Foundation.  For more information, log on to


1. GARY ROBERTS. You could spend an hour entertaining him with Gary Roberts as Chuck Norris jokes!  “Gary Roberts can slam a revolving door. Gary Roberts clapped with one hand. And heard it.”

2. MARIO. You would share ice with Mario and you wouldn’t have to kidnap him to do it. Not that I would ever dream of doing that. Ahem. Where were we?

3. It’s probably best that I don’t know how to ice skate because there is a billion percent chance I was getting asked to leave anyway for all the sports-butt-slapping I was doing.


  1. Jen
    September 27, 2011 7:14 pm

    i would consider sending my husband to do this (he is chanting something about wanting to “fight” ti somebodysomebody), but the 8k price tag is just too much. even if it is for the kids. i wish i could send him! he would beam like a 5 yr old! we went ice skating on our wedding day (yes, in my dress) and he beamed like a little kid. he loves the ice. dear mario: can we lower that price tag to something more like, say, $1500?! {sad panda pout}

  2. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    September 27, 2011 10:08 pm

    Now if I only had an extra $7500 just sitting around! I really need to hit PowerBall.

  3. Butcher's Dog
    September 28, 2011 9:45 am

    Superman wears Gary Roberts pajamas. The boogeyman checks under his bed to see if Gary Roberts is there. C’mon, folks…you got a zilliion of ’em sitting out there.

  4. Paul
    September 28, 2011 10:15 am

    Maybe I could go if I sell all the “top of the line hockey gear, equipment ” afterward and just use my bottom of the line hockey gloves with the taped-over holes and the 10 year old shoulder pads?

    I’m sure all those rich old dudes will have a blast doing this.

    Still, a cool opportunity for a great cause.

  5. lu1209
    September 28, 2011 12:31 pm

    Actually, the Pens have been having a similar fantasy camp for 10 year at a much more reasonable $1000 price tag. Gary Roberts was there last year and other big name players have come over the years and Mario used to hang out at the camp. (He didn’t participate, but many members of his family did.) Unfortunately, since Mario decided to hold this camp this year, the Pens are discontinuing the other camp. It’s a shame, as there were people who came from all over the country for that camp and came back every year. But the insane price tag of Mario’s camp is going to prevent most of those people from coming. The Pens and Mario should have thought this through better, as they’ve upset a key fan base that’s been paying them for years (my husband is included in this group!).