My life is busy lately and today I got to spend the day at the restaurant hunting down receipts from December of 2010 for the insurance company because we are STILL not out of the insurance phase of that pesky jerkface fire that I’ve now named Satan Beelzebub Fiery Evil Devil de Damien the Antichrist.

It rings. But its business card is HUGE.

This is like Random n’at, but quicker. Snappy. Here we go!

1. Mike Tomlin hung up on some reporters and rightly so because they clearly don’t know how to let go of the past, writes the girl who still retches when she hears the name Sid Bream.

2. Sid has been cleared for contact. Hossana in the highest, n’at! I hope they make him wear a giant Styrofoam helmet during practices. Also, from now on, two shots for every time Sid, a Pens rep, or Sid’s doctor says, “there is no timetable for his return.”

3. Troysus is the nicest NFL player, officially. I wonder if anyone thought they were voting for “Best Hair” or “Prayiest.”

4. The Pittsburgh Power still exist as do their dance team The Sparks. If you want to be a Spark, bust out your athletic bra. No. Really. That is the recommended attire for auditioning. Men, there is nothing that says only women can try out. You know what to do. Send me video.

5. This story is a billion times funnier when you replace crows with cows, as my brain did during the first read-through. “[BOOOOOOM!]  MOO?!!?!???”

6. School children created life-sized artwork of WTAE anchors.

7. The paparazzi continue to stalk Suri Cruise through the Burgh, because they are giant jerkfaces.

8. Man poses as monster to propose to girlfriend in the ScareHouse. SPOOOOOOOKY.

9. Primanti’s is a finalist for Men’s Health‘s Manliest Restaurant contest. MEAT. FRIES. CABBAGE. BREAD. AROOOOOO! It’s all fun and testosterone until the major heart event.

10. Squirrel and goat heads found in an illegal slaughterhouse. Dear God, please don’t let this guy own a Chinese restaurant. Also, is it considered a “slaughterhouse” when you’re just killing pigeons? I’m asking for a friend.

Okay, you go read all that stuff stuff stuff while I work on a post about Quidam’s Pittsburgh connection, the alligator in the Beaver Run Reservoir, and then I’m probably going to bug you a bit about getting your Crazy Scary ticket!

You’ve been warned.


  1. gnaledge
    October 13, 2011 3:29 pm

    Regarding your question in #10, according to the PG, yes.

  2. Niki
    October 13, 2011 3:56 pm

    Regarding # 7-
    It seems like Tom & Katie are intentionally using Suri for publicity. Normally I’m all for promoting celebrity kids having a normal life free of paps…but it’t not like they’re really trying to blend in. Tom & Katie could at least try and wear baseball caps or something… You’re not trying to hide your daughter form paps when you let her go shopping wearing a ladybug costume and carrying a magic wand!

  3. Virginia
    October 13, 2011 3:57 pm

    Excellent point, Niki.

  4. Elle C.
    October 13, 2011 4:16 pm

    Shame on you, Pittsburgh paparazzi. I thought we were better than that here. I also feel a little sad for Suri because she is just like any other little girl who wants to dress up like a princess and walk her doll carriage around (this is one of my 4-year old daughter’s favorite things to do also!). As a parent I would imagine it’s hard to try and stifle your kid’s imagination because you want to hide him or her from paparazzi.

  5. Kathy
    October 13, 2011 4:47 pm

    No comment on the wonderful Flyer’s crowd response to the cancer vid? I don’t care for hockey so I’ve never cared one way or the other about Flyers v. Penguins. But that riled me up. Go Pens!

  6. Steve
    October 13, 2011 5:21 pm

    And James Harrison is the meanest.

    Also Sunshine Ward comes in at #8 on the meanest list. Who knew?

  7. Cassie
    October 13, 2011 8:54 pm

    Oh, in regards to Suri, why should she have to blend in? My kid insists on wearing firefighter costumes and police costumes to the gym on a daily basis. It’s who she is.

    But this, Ginny, is just for you :

    You’re welcome.

  8. Jayne
    October 14, 2011 1:32 am

    Love those life size anchors! My nephew was one of the 5th graders who did those!

  9. Scott
    October 14, 2011 8:36 am

    Dance team = Sluts!

  10. bucdaddy
    October 14, 2011 9:54 am

    Elle C,

    How do you know they’re from here? Did they yell, “Hey, Tom, how you like dahntahn ‘n at?”

  11. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    October 14, 2011 10:59 am

    @Elle C — most of the stalking paparazzi arent’ Pittsburgh bred. My friend works for TMZ and they and all of the other Hollywood media outlets have sent a boatload of people to Pittsburgh for this shoot. He even called me asking if I wanted to earn some extra cash by helping out with logistics in the Burgh for them. I was in LA this weekend and not a Hollywood report went by where Tom and Katie (and sometimes Suri) weren’t featured. I would be surprised if the paid paparazzi were Pittsburghers.